And So My Life Begins...

Change, once again.

2009-02-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

So I tried the Blogger thing. But there were several things that I don't like it, that outweigh the ones I don't like about Wordpress.

So? Back to WP I go.

Sorry for the inconvenience. I've thought about this for a while now. So no more changes! :)

So hit me up again at.... http://andsolifebegins.wordpress.com

Working!

2009-02-14T11:18:00.001-08:00

I'm semi-completed the 3-page paper. By semi I mean that I finished it but I need to edit it. Rather, have someone to edit it.

I typed up the story of myself. So that's done. Just needs to be printed.

I have 2 double-entry journals I have to write (I have to figure WHAT I have to write exactly for those), but they aren't too long.

I need to make a graphic organizer from an article.

Lastly I need to read/browse the first chapter of the APA book.

The BIG thing is done, though, so I'm relieved. Although I just about had an anxiety attack in the process of doing it.

Reading, Not Writing

2009-02-13T16:40:00.000-08:00

My sister made another post about her memories. I am obsessed with them. I reload her blog to see if she's added anything new.

When I think about writing, though? It's boring. Who cares about my childhood. Maybe one day, if I have kids, they will. But now? No one cares. After all my siblings were all there for mine (even if 500 miles away in college, they were born).

Reading my sisters memories takes me back to Argentina, a country I wish I could visit again, soon. I wish I could take another trip - with everyone, and go down memory lane. Visit the place they grew up (although it has been torn down and replaced), visit their schools (which should still be there). But that is unlikely to happen.

I was lucky enough, however, back in January 2008, when I went to Argentina with my dad. We took a train ride down from the city where my siblings are from, La Plata, towards the city called City Bell. They spent weekends there, but most importantly? It was where my dad grew up. I was able to spend time in my dad's childhood home! A house his dad worked on, changed, and made into what it is today (mostly) some 70 years ago. That's amazing. I have some pictures that I took when I was there (there was a family renting the place at the time, so much time we couldn't spend and we were very lucky to have been able to go there).

I would also like to go to where my mom grew up. The house I did visit was once was where my grandparents lived after most of their kids had grown up and moved out. It was the house, which to me was always "la casa de Zuni", in which my grandparents took care of my siblings while our parents worked. I know that house because it is where I stayed on my early trips to Argentina. Again, I was lucky to be able to go into it last year with my dad. The house was sold several years ago, after my grandma, Zuni, died in 1998. It was amazing to go into that house, see how it has changed, how much nicer it is now (after my grandma got older the house wasn't maintained and it was pretty much in bad shape the times I visited beforehand). On the outsie it is still a bit messed up, but inside it's much nicer.

But I'll post about that later. With pictures, I hope. Although these aren't childhood memories , they are memories I cherish. I cherish my family's history. This is it.

Lists, because I procrastinate

2009-02-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have homework to do and I want to do my memories blog, but it's Friday and I haven't started n the HW which I've known about for just about TWO weeks. So let me make a list. Make it clearer for myself.

My Story: a autobiography about my rode to becoming a teacher. I actually wrote this by hand while I waited for my class to start on Monday, but I need to type it up, edit it, and all that good stuff.
Graphic Organizer: I have to fill in a graphic organizer about an article she gave us. Not a hard thing to do, but apparently I have to "teach" it to others in my class. Not sure what that means, but I think it will be partner work. I should be fine.
Education Letter: I need to read this article about changing education and then write a 3-page letter to someone, possibly the Governator or whomever, about what I think and blah blah blah. Haven't really thought much about it. It must be a persuasive letter, though.
APA: For my other class I need (okay, need is a strong word, should is better) to read the APA manual so that I can learn how to use APA. Which isn't a bad idea. Most people use MLA or APA in their undergraduate work, but I used something completely different: AP. As in Associated Press. I was a journalism major after all. This isn't hard, but annoying.

That's all. Doesn't seem like a lot, but as far as the 3-page letter goes? I haven't written a paper in at least a year and it's a bit daunting. I know once I sit down and concentrate I should be fine, but actually sitting down? That's the hard part!

I will not, cannot start on the memory posts until all the HW is done. Hopefully that'll be inspiration to get the HW done. Monday I don't work, being it is President's Day. So that'll give me time to do things. But I'm hoping that the HW can get done by tomorrow night.

Oh, and by the way? It's cold. 40 degrees is fucking cold. Staying in my nice warm bed sounds much nicer than getting dressed and going out in the cold. PLUS I have to move the Miata because it's been parked in the same space and I don't feel like it getting towed. The issue with moving it? It's SOAKING WET inside. It leaks. I put a towel in the hole, but I can sense it's wet inside. The fogged up windows (and by fog I mean MOISTURE from evapuration of water) are a big clue.

Alright. Time to get ready.

Memories

2009-02-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

I am the youngest of 4 children by 12 1/2 years. My childhood and their childhood were completely different. Born in different countries and in different lifetimes, it seems. I don't have memories of my siblings childhoods because I wasn't there. I don't know the houses they lived in when they were really little, or their weekend house. I have visited the apartment they lived in the years before moving to the US, but that was over 10 years after they had, by most means, abandoned it.

I am jealous of their life. Of their time with my parents that I never got to have. Of having young parents who had all the time in the world to play with. I am jealous of those 15 years (the difference between my eldest sister and myself).

Beyond the jealousy comes my want, my need to know about that time. To know what they played, where they lived, what they saw. The only way for that to happen is if they share their stories. My eldest sister, Margarita (I call her Mara, others call her Marga), is doing just that. She began on her own accord, but I encouraged her to keep going. As I learn about her childhood, I learn about who they were and why they are who they are now.

It also got me thinking that I need to write down my memories. So I will. I'll begin, soon. When I can. Or as they come. I'll look through my albums and think about the memories associated with them. I'll try to decipher which are memories and which are just remembering the pictures themselves.

I will also re-post my sisters memories here for my own needs. Later.

Lack of Creativity

2009-02-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

I've worked the last 8 work days. For me? That's a lot. The most I've done. I'm not tired, per-se, BUT I also don't feel like blogging when I get home. That, though, is partly because when I get home (if I'm not at school), I am out shopping, or with Nikki.

Anyway, tomorrow I am off (unless I get a call in the morning).

I have stuff to do, homework for Monday, reading, etc. It'll get done, but knowing it isn't done is frustrating and makes me anxious.

There are some things I want to talk about... anorexia, drugs, Hulu, and other subjects that I can remember at the moment. BUT they will wait until I actually have the energy to write it done coherently.

In the meantime I've been watching every episode of L.A. Dragnet and then I'll move on to others. Fun!

Accident Prone

2009-02-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

People see yellow lights and they speed up to make it, as to not waste 5 minutes of their lives. That's not a good idea.

After doing some shopping at the mall we made our way up a major street towards Jack in the Box (free fries today!). I was waiting at a red left-turn light. The light to go straight was still green, but quickly turned to yellow, and obviously then to red. One car, though, decided to run the light, just as a car decided to make a left hand turn since the light was just about red and why would ANYONE be going STRAIGHT? Well, luckily, the guy going straight was able to swerve around the car turning (who had stopped).

I know it's sort of complicated to read it, but it was a VERY close one. Scary. I was far away enough, and at an angle from them that it wouldn't haven't affected me, but nonetheless.

It reminds me of the saying my mom always has told me:

Better to loose a minute in your life, than your life in a minute.

Growing Pains?

2009-02-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

You know that "pain" that you'd feel in your legs when you were growing up. As though you were stretching. Or, at least, my mom told me that the pain in my legs was from growing. Now I'm not so sure. I'm 24, been on my period for half my life. I am NOT growing any taller than what I've been for the past decade.

So why does my left leg hurt so damn much? It's a dull ache. Sort of as though it is being smooshed between two hard objects. It's not the first time I've felt it as an adult.

Add that to the pain in my hips and my back? I'm just a shell of a thing.

My hip hurts more as the day goes on and the longer I sit still. I noticed it today when I was in my 4pm class. It was uncomfortable to be in my seat. Then my back became uncomfortable, too. The need to stretch it, but the inability to. I've been taking 1 entire pill for a few days, but I'm not sure if it's been 5 days yet, or not. So I'll take 1 pill tonight, and then tomorrow I'll move it up to 1 1/2. I have a follow up appointment at the end of the month.

With all these complaints I have, I come home and spend some time with Nikki. She attaches herself to me whenever I get home. She was happy to see me today since on Monday's she usually doesn't, and we didn't spend much time together yesterday either. I ignore the computer and the TV. I change into my PJ's (cause if I'm at home, that's what I sport), make her laugh as I throw my clothes on her, I tickle her. I take her downstairs and cuddle up on the couch to watch some cartoons and wait for her dad to pick her up. Although I enjoy the time with her, I'm waiting for her dad to come. I want her to go because it's nearing 8pm and that means House will be on. It's not. But she goes anyway (which she must, she has school in the morning). I finally settle in to check e-mail and look through my GReader.

I read two sad posts. One about a little girl, not even a year, who died from cancer. The other, a soon-to-be mom who left the hospital without her baby; he was strangled by the umbilical cord.

I read that and I feel so thankful for the time I've been able to spend with my nieces and nephew. I feel sad for being selfish and not spending more time with them, instead pushing them away so I can do my own things.

I complain about my own physical pains and I feel crappy, because what significance does it have compared to what these families are going through? We've had our share of scares: Camila has Kawasaki Disease (which has been made popular by the Travolta death), Nikki had to be admitted to the ER for IV fluids when she was 2; both Mika and Camila have hearing problems that haven't been taken care of (which means my siblings haven't gotten around to it, sadly). We've been lucky. SO very lucky. Look at TEO. She was given 10 hours to live when she was 9 months old, and repeatedly after that the doctor's assured my mom that she has 0% chance of surviving. She was even dead for a while. But 37 years later, she's still kicking: 3 transplants, 2 hip replacement, a staph infection, and a million other little things later. Amazing.

I will hold Nikki and Jonathan a bit more closely. I will call Camila and Mika more often, and I'll try to not rush them off the phone as fast. I will appreciate my family's luck a bit more.

Sunday, Blah

2009-02-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

I had a date with Andrew today. But it wasn't a date. It was two friends having lunch together. Much to my disappointment.

But at least things are crystal clear now.

Though now I'm left in a hopeless state of being single all over again.

Nothing else exciting happened. I studied and prepared for work.

I have a story to tell about work on Friday... but it'll have to wait.

Tomorrow is work AND school. Blah.

See ya in 24.

Snow! Snowing! Wow!

2009-02-07T17:29:00.001-08:00

I hadn't seen it snow in years!! Since the Blizzard in which we were stranded.

BUT today, in Frazier Park, here in California, there was snow on the ground. But it was also snowing, snowing, snowing! LOTS of snow! Amazing! When my brother uploads videos I'll post one or two, but in the mean time, here are some pictures!

Rain, Rain, and... Snow?

2009-02-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned it's been raining here. It continued to rain today, although it became strong at about 2:30 and for the rest of the afternoon into the night.

What does 2 days of rain in the Valley mean? It means SNOW in the mountains! We will be going tomorrow, when it's supposed to keep raining, and hopefully that means snow in the mountains. Different weather sites give me different information. Some say showers, other show snow depending on the level (above 5000ft it seems, better above 6,000ft. I'm not sure how high we get to go, but I'm hoping that it'll be wherever it is snowing.

This means we need to get up and out early on in the day, but BSIL isn't very much into getting going early in the morning, so we shall see how that goes. She could stay behind.

I'm REALLY excited to see snow, even better snowing. The fluffy stuff. I know that many of you out there live in areas of snow, or worse yet are stuck inside because you're blocked in with ice and snow. BUT? I live in L.A. Snow where I live? Quite Unusual.

I did a Google, and got some pictures. One of a little boy with a snowman here in my actual city of Chatsworth. That was in 1949. Before that it seems that it snowed in the early 1930's and in about 1913-1915.

The latest? This is as close as we have come:

The mountains, and it melted withing 5 hours or so.

Snow has fallen in the past few years in Malibu, and that was AMAZING and was constantly in the news. But I have never, ever seen it in the Valley. San Fernando Valley, that is. I can't even remember the last time it hailed. I remember that it hailed ONCE a long time ago when I was little. I remember putting the hail in the freezer, cause I'm cool like that.

But at least we can drive for an hour and see some snow in person.

Hopefully.

I Got It! CRAWL!

2009-02-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

Jonathan started crawling 2 days ago. He's going even faster and longer now.

BUT I got him crawling for the first time, to get food of course, on video! Watch it! It's short. Don't mind me yelling at TEO in Spanish to turn down the TV.

Wet Car and lots of RAIN!

2009-02-06T06:41:00.000-08:00

It was just before lunch time when it started raining yesterday (yes! rain! in Los Angeles!). But it was just a drizzle. By the time school ended at 2:18 it was pretty much RAINing. Now by that I mean pretty heavy by OUR standards here. In other areas it was probably just sprinkling.

I returned the key to the office and headed out to my car. Do you know what an amazing feeling it is to go toward a car that doesn't have holes in the roof. A car that you know will be DRY inside? Well, it's amazing. That simple.

But of course I now feel bad that I didn't protect the holes in the Miata from the rain. We've had pretty heavy rain, and overnight even more, so I suspect it's pretty wet. I mean, there is a gash (at the seam) about 4-5inches long, and at the wides about an inch. That's big for rain, I think. I'll take a picture at some point. So I will go and try to do something to help it before I leave for work today.

What does the RAIN mean? It means that the mountains have SNOW. Actually SNOW, not the ICE that we "played" with a few weeks ago (and yea, totally failed at picture story telling, but that's because of Bro who didn't give them to me!). Bro told me last night that he's planning on going to Frazier Park on Saturday. It should still be raining, therefore also snowing! Which would be EXCELLENT. I think I mentioned how much I want to see it snow. Nikki? Would be soooo amazed! HOPEFULLY, though, the roads won't be closed, which is what happened in December preventing us from going. Bro has chains, so if that's needed - no problem. Oh. And Bro likes to read this here blog. YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY CAR! Yea. Just wanted to clear that up a bit.

Overnight I woke up a couple of times (woke up at 1am thinking it was already time to get up) and it was raining pretty hard...and it was so nice. I laid, just listening to the rain falling... it was so peaceful. Unfortunately I fell asleep quickly.

Damn. I left my umbrella in my car. Oh well.

By the way? It's FRIDAY!

I'm In Bed Teaching, What of It?

2009-02-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

I started this new medication for my back about a week ago. The doctor warned me that it had a couple of significant side effects. The first being it causes sleepiness, although that only lasts for 2 1/2 hours (which is fine, I take it at night so it helps me get to sleep! woo!). The second one was vivid dreams. Until last night I hadn't really noticed this.

I generally remember my dreams, so I hadn't noticed any difference since beginning the new med. Last night, though? Wow!

In my dream I was teaching, subbing. It was in a Kinder class. I remember thinking how can I be teaching if I'm snuggled so warmly into my bed under my awesome down comforter. BUT I was leaning up on my elbow talking to my students who were sitting, apparently, on the floor of my room. Yea. That kind of vivid.

Eventually it woke me up and I re-snuggled under the covers. But it was quite vivid to me. Now I'll be wanting to do my job that way, but unfortunately I don't think it's possible. The principal won't look kindly of me carrying a bed to work everyday. :)

School... as in Work

2009-02-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

I've finished 3 days straight of work this week and I've survived so far.

The class on Monday was a 1st grade class and it was a headache, but I had enough work for the entire day. Tuesday was a Kinder class and they were pretty decently behaved, there was one breakdown by non-English speaking student. I had some extra time and taught them a new game (Around the World), and I read a few extra books.

Students just seem to get things done faster when with a substitute. I get through most plans quickly. Today? 2nd grade class, awesome group of kids. Teacher is very organized, left detailed notes, etc. BUT? I got through what she left through lunch before recess! It was that kind of day. So I had to come up with about 2 hours of extra stuff to do. We played Money Bingo (something she left for us), then we played Sparkle (they have to spell words, each student names one letter, if they give the wrong letter they have to sit down and are "out"), and Around the World with addition (I forgot to do subtraction) (I did that one in the Kinder class but with reading their sight words). THEN we played Heads-up, Seven-up THEN we played Four Corners. Finally it was time to go home.

Tomorrow I'll be in a 1st grade class. It will be in the room next to the one I was in today. I introduced myself to the teacher after school today, since the school set me up as her sub - not her. I hope it goes well and that she'll call me back. I am coming back to today's class later this month.

On Friday I go to a 3rd grade class I've been to a few times, and I'll be there M-W as well. I'm printing out some things I can do with them, and also preparing to do a Valentine's craft with them. It can't be anything too complicated (I'm not going to buy any materials, they have to be at the school). BUT this class likes me, and I like them, and I don't have to keep telling them to be quiet (from what I remember), so it should be fine. The teacher is really nice, and while usually there is class switching with her partner teacher next door (some kids come, some go), since ALL the 3rd grade teachers will be out those 3 days we aren't going to be doing it (thank goodness!).

So yes, that is my week in Subbing.

School, as in CSUN

2009-02-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

I can't admit it. I hate to admit it. But I will. But it's early on, so things might still go to the way I figure them to go. The Research class with the evil professor? It wasn't bad. Yea, I was bored for part of the time, but it was good in a sense. In the sense that the big assignment for this class is to come up with a question to research, which may or may not help you in writing your thesis or doing one of the other two options for graduation. Well, he was actually helpful yesterday. But now that I think back on it? It was another girl in my group that gave me the idea, he helped a tiny bit, but that was it. My question, so far, is: "How does parental involvement of 2nd grade students affect their academic achievement?" So now comes the whole actually doing the work part.

In my case, I think I'm going to write a Thesis instead of the project and the other option. I'm a writer and I don't like to deal with people, therefore the writing is the best option for me. In this class I will develop the question and the research to answer it, but I won't actually be doing it. BUT the research will help me in then writing the thesis, so I don't have to do it twice. THAT is awesome. Maybe.

I'll talk about the other class later on, time for work!

Backed Up

2009-02-03T21:12:00.001-08:00

I'm getting backed up on posts. Who knew that I'd actually have an adult job this month? At least for 9 days in a row (sans weekends). I've mentioned that I'm working 15 of 19 days this month. Monday's I have school all night (except next week; my second class is canceled) and last night I came home and went to bed.

Today? I spent the entire afternoon and evening with Nikki. On Sunday when I took her to the bookstore because I wanted to pick something up (but didn't find anything, but she did, and I bought it for her!) we were talking about I don't know and it came up that the next day, Monday, I wouldn't get to see her since I'd be in work all day, and then go straight to school. She was really upset. "Pero voy a querer verte!" ("But I'm going to want to see you!") in a very whiny voice. I explained the best I could that I just wasn't going to be able to see her. So today? She didn't leave my side. I even had to wipe her crotch after she peed, something she usually does on her own. It was nice, though. We watched TV. We read books. We played games. We watched videos. We had a good time.

But that means that I haven't had time to blog as much as I'd like. Night time comes and I'm tired and ready to go to sleep (the new medicine that makes me sleepy helps with that, too). So although I WANT to tell you about my day subbing yesterday and today, I can't.

So. Too bad! Good Night.

Death

2009-02-03T18:27:00.000-08:00

Growing up my best friend was Kevin. We were like brother and sister. He was over at my house a lot. He'd come places with us. I'd go with him. We'd go swimming together. Bike riding, playing Lincoln Logs, playing "house". and a million other things.

When he was 8 and I was 10 his mom dropped off the face of the earth. She was/is schizophrenic and decided that he would be better without her. It was years before he found her again (some 4 years ago I'd say, maybe 5). She was the one who got us to be friends to begin with, though. They had seen me around and I guess came and knocked on our door and that was it.

We lived just about next door to me until I move to where we live currently. Then a year later his dad, already retired, moved down to Temecula, a good 2 hours away. We have seen each other a handful of times since then. But we've kept in touch. There was some drama a few months past. His dad had disappeared for a day or so. Then the dad was taken to Florida by his younger brother. Kevin staying here.

They found out his dad had Alzheimer's.

On Saturday I texted Kevin asking him how his dad, Hank, was. He texted me back telling me that he was still in the hospital, but now had a feeding tube in.

Yesterday, last night he texted me to tell me that his dad had passed away.

He will be cremated. There won't really be a service, or at least Kevin said that not many people will go. I don't think he had a lot of friends. But I've been really disconnected from them for so long, I really don't know. But my dad and I will be going to whatever it is, I think it's the right thing to do. It will probably awkward, but it has to be done.

Rest In Peace Henry Mayer.

Being an adult and in pain

2009-02-02T22:26:00.000-08:00

Walking to my car from class tonight I started thinking how I don't feel like an equal to other teachers or other adults. I feel inferior. It all comes from being so much younger than my siblings that I've always been the LITTLE sister and so I still feel LITTLE in other aspects of my life.

But more on that another time.

My waist continues to hurt. It's radiating pain. Pulsing. Maybe it's a pinched nerve? I don't know. I just want it gone.

I don't know how much longer I am going to go before doing something about it. I'm sick of going crying to the doctor everytime something hurts. Blah.

Stopped by the dentist this afternoon and he said my gum is healing very well, so I go back in in a month for a check up. In March I'll also see the other dentist so that he can make sure that the space between my teeth isn't closing up (if it were I'd have to put a temporary there and that would cost a lot of money and would be annoying). Hopefully in about 5 1/2 months I can go in for the last surgery, and then they will finally be able to finish the process and I will have a permanent tooth in my mouth for the first time in 10 YEARS!

Tomorrow going out with Nikki somewhere, she was very sad that she didn't get to see me today (since I was out allllll day)

Blah. Another post another day about school and what I'm thinking about it.

Boys...

2009-02-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of stupid males. Of those who aren't sure of what they want, or lie about it, or change what it is they want in the middle of the road. I'm tired of them not being upfront. I'm tired of having to guess what they are thinking, what they want. I'm open and honest about just about everything (I'm learned to not be so upfront and honest about some things).

This is mostly about one person. Which you can guess about.

Don't show affection and then pull away. Decide what that affection is about. Why are you being affectionate. What is it that you want to accomplish. Do you know? Is it just what you feel, but then you're afraid and so you hide? Decide. Do something.

I need to find the one for me. The one who is READY for a possible LTR and who isn't going to change his mind a month in. Ready.

I almost think it's impossible.

Accomplishments

2009-02-01T19:43:00.001-08:00

I didn't have to read the book for the class. He isn't expecting it. But I felt like i need to do it because I feel so inadequate in these classes. Most of the students are older than me, and they've been in the classroom teaching for years. I don't know the names of the philosophers and other people that are considered important in education. I don't know what they created and wrote or why it's important to education. I have the ideas, I don't know specifics. And that embarrasses me. I feel stupid and then I think, and maybe know, that I shouldn't be in a profession where you need to know so much history, memorize it all. My memory sucks.

The point WAS that I read part of the first chapter (they are LONG chapters), and it was only part because I took lots and lots of notes on what I was reading. I didn't get through it all, but that's okay. I got my new pens and I got new post-its to use, and I'm happy with that.

Then again, I always am this way at the beginning of a semester. I get excited! The prospect of getting good grades, of learning something useful, and becoming smart! It's fabulous. But then I get over it and slink back to my old ways and become stuck. We shall see how it goes and what I end up doing.

BUT I'm very excited about the post-its. Just so you know.

I did my homework for the other class, printed it, and packed it away. I also printed out brain teasers for the week for classes, keep them entertained at the end of the day, and I put them in a binder.

I need to make a post about my anguish and annoyance at the male gender. How they are so hard to really understand. How they don't... know what they want. How none of them want to be with me. That's for another day.

Jonathan

2009-02-01T15:49:00.000-08:00

Just tooooo funny!

I want...

2009-02-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

I want to have friends, and a place to gather for events like today's.
I want to have a man to cuddle with and be with.
I want to be able to afford to live on my own.
I want someone who'll love me for me. Who will love my mind, my soul, and my body.
I want to be happy.

Will it ever happen?

Also? I feel crappy cause the fam is going out shopping and I don't want to go and Nikki came up here whining for me to go with them. I convinced her that I really didn't want to go and that when they come back I'll read books to her. But I still feel crappy.

Work, Work, Work!

2009-02-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

There are 19 workable days in February. I am working 15 of those days. February will be a busy month for me, and that's a good thing. It means I'll be making over $2k this month and I will easily be able to pay for my car, insurance, and start paying my mom back all the loans she has given me. My credit card will be paid off too (since I still have the $1,200 that I put down on the car). BUT before that paycheck comes, January's will. I haven't looked at how many days I worked in January, but it was significant enough that I should have a decent paycheck (on the 5th).

Although lots of work is awesome? Working a whole week? totally out of the ordinary for me and I'm going to be tired as hell! BUT I'll survive and be a better person because of it!

So Much

2009-02-01T00:17:00.001-08:00

So much in my mind. Confusion. Wants. Needs. But I can't talk about them all because people read this blog that I don't want to share these things with. Which is the bad thing about Blogger. No private posts, no friends-only posts. That is what I need.

Listen up Blogger! Get your butt in gear and make some updates to this!!

Old Woman

2009-01-31T16:51:00.000-08:00

I feel like an old woman. If I'm not in pain in one place, it's another. My back is the usual place, but that's been fine lately. Now? My waist. It has been incredibly painful. It started on January 3rd and still it's bad. It started on my left side like a sciatica pain. It would make my left leg numb and unstable. Then it became my entire waist. Now? Now it's move to my right side and any sort of movement hurts. I need to take some Tylenol, but I'm tired of taking so many drugs. One morning when I was going to work the pain was bad enough that I had to pull over and sit still for minute before doing anything.

I'm tired of it all. I've started to try different things. Pillow between my legs is the first. But since Nikki slept over last night (with me) so it was difficult. I'll also try a pillow under my lower back. Maybe I'll go as far as a body pillow. I don't want to go to the doctor because I'm sick of doctor's and hospitals. I'm hoping it'll go away on its own.

In other news, in another area? I am still feeling guilty when Nikki wants to spend time with me but I really don't feel like it. I feel like a bitch, and that I won't be getting these moments of her being a sweet, neurotic 4 year old back again. The feeling sucks. Much.

That's all for now.

Things Are Weird

2009-01-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

Relationships with people. Things happening or not happening. I don't know what. Just have to wait.

Supposed to get together with Lindsey between 3-6 today... so not into it right now. I don't like the time limits, I guess. I don't know what we'd do. So... I think I'm going to shrug it off.

Need to go to the supermarket today. Get some things. The Friday's appetizers are on sale for $1.97, so we're going to pick a couple of those up. I need to get more Lean Cuisine's because I work the next 7 days straight (work days that is) and I only have 2 or 3 boxes left. I have one left at work because yesterday the class I was in had a pizza party (for a kids birthday) and so I didn't eat. But? I'm totally craving pizza filled with toppings. Maybe some will be on sale at the market and we can't heat some up for lunch or something.

Nikki is ~~bugging~~ asking me to get her a starburst, so I shall do that and get ready to go.

Picture Post!

2009-01-31T09:08:00.000-08:00

Nikki is pretty crazy as you can see.

But she's also extremely cute!

Jonathan isn't that bad, either.

Wow, am I sucking at posting or what?

2009-01-30T20:26:00.000-08:00

Of course for you guys it hasn't because me not posting is probably a good thing, but for myself? It sucks!

The appointment with the doctor yesterday went well. I really liked her, Dr. Miles, and I was glad I went. She gave me an actual diagnosis for my back pain (and at the moment I can't spell it so you'll find out later) and gave me medication for it - called Zanaflex. I have to take half a pill for 5 days, and then a whole one for five days if the 1/2 pill doesn't work. But as I haven't been having a lot of pain lately, I don't know how well it is working, or not working.

Today my mom had a doctor's appointment and I took her after work. AFTER that we went to Friday's because I had earned my first $8. It turned out to be great. We were first looking at the desserts, but decided for some actual food. I had a Chicken and Sausage Penne (with the chicken on the side so that my mom could eat some of the Penne, which she didn't because the sausage made it too spicy for her), and we got the Spinach Dip for 50% off because of my meal. Those two came to a total of $11.07. WELL, when I ordered my Penne I made sure to tell the waitor that the last time I was there and had this meal the chicken had been dry and the pasta undercooked (I like mine really soft). WELL.... the chicken was fine, but the pasta? Totally hard. So I complained, he told the manager and I got dessert for free. Did I mention that I had an $8 coupon? SO my total for ALL this food? $2.41. Yup. Plus tip, which was very little. So for $3 I got all that food. LOVING it.

For today that is all. I just downloaded all my pictures from my camera (the first time in a couple of weeks) so I'm sure I'll have a picture post tomorrow or Sunday... but of course I hate Blogger picture posting, so we'll see.

Doctors and Doctors

2009-01-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

Today is my last scheduled appointment with the pain management doctor at Kaiser. I don't know exactly what this appointment is for. But I have to go. The worse part of it all is that my back isn't hurting right now, so it's hard for me to really complain about it. However my waist is hurting. More in an annoying manner than before when it was painful.

I sat down to actually study for the GRE. I got through 60 antonym questions, corrected them and only got 26 correct. Yuck. BUT in the exam I only have to score a 50% in ONE section in order to pass. So I guess it's not THAT bad. After that, thought, I sat back down and gave up. I do, however, need to do the homework for Monday. It's simple - write two journal entries, so I'm not worried about it - but I have to do it - and that is just not me. Doing work, I mean.

I'm the queen of procrastination. Because what am I doing right now? Laying in bed watching some show on A&E typing this. ALL in order to not sit at my desk and answer the questions and just get it done. Which is stupid of me. And so I sit here not doing my work and bringing myself done, feeling useless and worthless and all those other -less words. Way to depress myself, I know.

Blah.

Post-Less

2009-01-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

It was a long day. Work. Then out with mom and Nikki. Then read 50+ posts in my reader.

So? No real post.

Bye.

Blahness

2009-01-27T22:51:00.000-08:00

I really feel blahness. What this is exactly? I'm not sure.

I went out with K tonight, a last minute thing. I hate being unsure about what is going on. Is he interested in getting to know each other better, hanging out, forming something? He implies he does when I bring it up (not so directly), but his actions sometimes seem otherwise. We went out about 3 weeks ago and again tonight. He started his masters... and so he's busy. He works full time. He goes to the gym every morning. I get it. But shouldn't he make the time? Was that what tonight was?

I'm probably over-thinking it all. I know. But I can't help it.

I'm feeling lonely. I know that I'm good on my own. I can be on my own and be great, I've done it the majority of the time. It's not enough all the time, though. Having someone to hug, and to tell you it's going to be all right means a lot sometimes. Especially since I don't have it at home.

I work tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow I'll be at the school in which the principal apparently asked a teacher to not call me. She didn't tell everyone, though. I'm going to mention it to my friend there and see what her reaction to it is. Hopefully it will be to mention it to other teachers and therefore get them to call me more just because they are mad about it. That's hopeful thinking, but it may happen. Possibly. Friday I'm at Lim school, where everything is grand!

I feel like I want to keep typing. Keep talking. Maybe just so I don't go to sleep and not go to work. Because after 6 days off getting up early to go to work is not appealing in the least. Sigh. I was supposed to get together with Lindsey after work tomorrow, but she had to postpone until Saturday, and I'm glad. I really wasn't looking forward to it. Hopefully on Saturday I will be. Hopefully.

I guess I need to go to sleep. So. Good. Night.

Inconsiderate Bitches

2009-01-27T14:17:00.000-08:00

I have many in my life. But today I will speak of two of them.

One? BSIL. My mom is feeling crappy today. The normal day has BSIL leaving Jonathan at 6:10ish AM, and then coming around 2pm to pick him up and drop Nikki off (she is in school from 8:30-12). Since my mom wasn't feel well today I give BSIL a call and ask her if she can come by earlier to pick him up. She tells me... "yea, but I have to clean the rugs before I get him, if I don't I'll never get it done. So I'll bring Nikki home and do that, and you guys can give her lunch." Okay. So she gets out of school at 12pm, you'd think they'd be over by? 12:30? 12:45? No. When did she get here? 2pm. 2pm. Yup. LUCKILY he was tired and I slept with him from about 12 ( I called BSIL at 11:45, and Nikki's school is 2 blocks away - 2 short Valley blocks) until the second Inconsiderate Bitch makes her appearance.

I'm sleeping in bed with Jonathan and suddenly I hear footsteps coming towards my moms room (where I am) and it's TEO. Apparently the phone rang - my brother making his usual everyday call to see how the baby is. She sees my mom isn't there. What does TEO do? She SCREAMS while still in the room for my mom (who had gone downstairs to sleep on the couch at about 12:30, this was 1:20ish). She then continued yelling for my mom and until she woke my mom up from upstairs.

ARG!!

School Begins

2009-01-27T11:23:00.000-08:00

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Dr. JR Idiot (the prof I don't like) recognized me, but I'm not sure he remembers the happenings of back then. Which is good. BUT?

He had a hickie on his neck. It was the size of a nickel. It was HILARIOUS. I could barely keep myself from staring at it the entire class time. I wish I could have taken a picture. So funny. I mean, he could have covered it up!

I met one girl, Lau, that is in both classes with me. She's a couple of years younger than me. I'm hoping we can become friends and whatnot at least for the classes. She seems smart, smarter than me - because I feel like such an idiot. She's also a sub like me. So things are somewhat in common.

The assignments? Sort of scared to death of them. But mostly of what it is I have to do at the very end of getting my masters. A thesis, an exam... or I don't know what. But it sounds very scary and impossible for me to do because I simply suck and am not smart enough for any of this. Which further proves to me that I should just get an office job pushing papers which doesn't require as much as teaching. This is not to say you don't have to be smart to do an office job, but I think it might be more up my alley.

I realize I'm being a chicken. But right now my heart is pounding and I feel horrible and yucky and did I mentioned SCARED to death? Cause it's true.

The second class won't be too bad. The teacher seems AWESOME and great, so I'm not worried about it. Too much.

I ordered the last book for the evil class, and it'll be here soon (because I'm an idiot and didn't change it to regular shipping and so I paid and extra $2 for stupid expedited shipping).

I'll go grumble about this on my own.

So Medicine Works (and other crap)

2009-01-26T09:32:00.000-08:00

I took the medication my doctor gave me... prescription pepcid (cheaper than the name brand), and guess what? I have only burped TWICE this morning. Quite amazing to me.

And people? I've stayed out of the whole Ann Coulter thing since I am not a single mother and I really didn't know exactly what her deal was. Just overhearing things from family, news, etc. But I just saw her on Good Day LA and I almost wanted to throw up. It was just... sickening. She is just a crazy woman who really has no sense of reality. Hmm. No wonder she loves Bush.

I got a call for work this morning, but I ignored it because I still have some side effects to the penicillin and at work they would not be good. It would really be bad. So here I am at home.

But? I start school at 4pm today. Fun. Hopefully it'll be a traditional first day of school in which class lasts for 40 minutes and then they let us go. BUT since I have class from 4-7 and then 7-10, the first class being short doesn't help me much. I did buy a couple of books at Borders the other day so I'll have something to read in the meantime. I think maybe I'll take my laptop, too. It'll be cool to go to school in my NEW FABULOUS car because, it just will be! :)

I haven't had much luck on Match lately. I went out K a few weeks ago, then he started school and got busy. We've talked on line every couple of days, texted a few times, and he's called me once. I sort of brushed it off, figuring he really wasn't interested. Going by the adage of the first few weeks should be the BEST and if they aren't? Well what do you have to look forward to, right? Well, whatever. He says he's interested, but just busy with school. Which... I think might be the truth... so I'm going to see how it goes. I'm not going to not go out with him because of it, but I'm not getting my hopes up, either. But like I said, I'm not having luck elsewhere, so I can't be picky right now. I don't want to be.

So on this day off from work I should be studying for the GRE, but I'm not, of course. Oh. Maybe I should do that tonight instead of bringing my laptop to school. That could be a good idea, huh? I'm smart.

Okay. One comment in this post-o-nothingness. Heath Ledger? He killed himself. People are falling over themselves to give him awards and whatnot. Yea. It's sad. But he killed himself. He was't murdered, he was dying from cancer. Yes, it's sad. But it's sad for the people he left behind, not for him. It's sad for his daughter. But do we really need to be celebrating that he killed himself?

I still need to do the immigration post, but not feeling it right now. Enjoy this!

Burps

2009-01-25T17:31:00.000-08:00

January 2008 had me sick in the last few days of my trip to Argentina. Sick as in I couldn't keep ANYTHING down. I just threw it all up. Even just drinking some water to take medicine didn't give me peace. LUCKILY I was better by the time I had to get on the plane to come home. This was mostly thanks to a lemon tea my aunt made me (literally, boil lemons!).

But I've had a lasting effect from those horrible icky days.

Burps. Lots and lots of burps. I'll burp when I wake up before eating anything. I'll burp after drinking water. After standing up. After sitting down. After doing anything. I just keep burping! Over and over and over again. I don't drink soda, or anything with carbonations - so it doesn't come from that. I don't eat with my mouth open.

I tried Dr. Google to figure out what the issue is, but haven't found anything useful. I've found burping comes with acid reflux, but I don't have that. I don't feel heartburn, ever.

I mentioned it to my doctor back in July when I saw her, and she prescribed some heartburn medication... which I didn't take because I didn't see the connection. BUT I guess I'll start taking them now and see if they help any.

Usually it's annoying, but I can deal with it. But now? Since sometimes the burp is hard to get out, it makes me almost throw up. Which is not fun, since I've been doing enough of that already just because of the penicillin I took.

Oh, the other part? And you might not want to read this... but I seem to also be regurgitating digested food. It happens every now and then (every couple of days) and they are smaller than my fingernail. But they SMELL. That also started happening after my icky start to 2008.

Ah well. Hopefully it'll go away.

Seriously?

2009-01-25T16:30:00.000-08:00

On Monday I went to my Bro's house early so we could head out to look for a car. While I was there, BSIL was changing Jonathan's diaper. She was in the room next to where my Bro and I were. (Nikki was at my house). Suddenly BSIL comes out of the room... withOUT Jonathan. I make a comment... "you left him there by himself?" and Bro goes on to tell me that he is strapped in.

You know. Those flimsy straps that just goes over the stomach, not between the legs. Yea. I comment that still, he shouldn't be left alone. He moves A LOT. He is, after all, 7-months old!

Apparently they didn't listen.

Today? He fell. Roughly 3 feet, maybe more. She did the same thing. Left him there to wash her hands (because that is SOOOO important at that instant) and from what we can gather he wiggled down below the belt and fell butt first to the ground. He then most likely fell over and hit his head on the ground (carpet, the changer itself, or the bookcase (both wood).

They were smart enough, at least, to call the doctor - who told them to keep an eye on him, see if he was acting differently, etc. My Bro took Jonathan's clothes off to see if he had any bumps, bruises, etc - but none were apparent.

But people? Seriously? You NEVER EVER EVER leave a baby by him/herself on a changing table. I mean, if you're ever going to do it, do it when he's a new born or barely a month or two when they aren't wiggling all over the place.

SO frustrating.

Lindsey-Poo

2009-01-24T16:31:00.001-08:00

I'm going to meet up with Lindsey in an hour or so. She doesn't know I have a new car. I texted her with "I have a new..." but she never texted me back. We were supposed to get together on Thursday, but this is Lindsey we're talking about.

But today we'll get together. I might start knitting the blanket for Jonathan, that he might have by NEXT winter because I'm just THAT fast.

Lindsey and I might go to Friday's because I have a free appetizer coupon, but I'm not sure about that. Although? A drink would be nice today after my stress the past couple of days. I should be fine with just one drink and an appetizer. BUT maybe nothing and just knitting. I don't know. Lindsey will call me when she's ready to leave work.

In the meantime, a nice hot shower!

So Nice...

2009-01-24T12:02:00.000-08:00

Half of the assignments for my Technology class are repeats from the previous class.... and I still have the work, so I'll make some changes because it seems that I CAN plagiarize myself. So changing a few things in them, colors, words, etc, will make it okay.

Then I have to do the things that weren't in the previous class. But it's not bad. I'm feeling good about it.

Work Drama

2009-01-23T21:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday as I was leaving Target I get a call from the teacher I subbed for on Tuesday. This is one of the first teachers I worked with as a TA at H school. She called to ask if I could sub for her on the 17th, which I could. She then wanted to ask me a question.

Go ahead!

She asked if I didn't get along with the principal there. This principal is new to the school (her first year) and I never worked under her. But she is the one who got me on the sub-list for LAUSD. A letter she wrote asking them to get me on the list. The story is that my ex-boss who is still at the school asked her to do this so then they could hire me to "teach" PE one day a week. Right after I got on the sub list, though, I got calls from schools for possibly a full time job, and how could I turn that down, right? Well - that didn't work out, and now I'm subbing... and apparently she is pissed off about this. She (the principal) hasn't said a word to me. I haven't really subbed at H school very much at all, actually. Maybe 5 times?

So the teacher who called me yesterday, we'll call her V, tells me that the SAA (who sets up subs and whatnot) told her that she couldn't use me in the future. This was back when she was going to use me for last Tuesday. She felt awkward about it, because she wanted me and she didn't understand why she couldn't use me. The SAA didn't go into details with her about it, but did mention PE and whatnot. V wanted to clear it up with me, which was fine.

The point is - if the lady has a problem with me? Tell ME. Don't go around telling people that they can't use me and whatnot. I have at least 2, maybe 3, more days scheduled at that school. IF she decides to be upfront about it and talk to me, fine. I won't work there. BUT? I'm not sure the teachers will be happy with that. I get a lot more work from Lim school - and I know the principal there loves me. SO I'm not too worried. PLUS I'll pass out my card at other schools and see how that goes.

That all said? I have 12 days scheduled to work in February! That's awesome. For me. It means I can easily make my car payment in February, pay my credit card, AND pay my mom back for some of what I owe her. I might not have much left for myself, but it'll be nice to pay off the debt I've come to accumulate. Of course I could get even more work in February - OR some could get cancelled (as they are trainings and the district might cancel them).

Oh - and they decided to NOT fire any teachers mid-year, so that's NICE to hear. Doesn't mean I'll get a job in the fall, but I won't have to fight for sub days. Too much.

Return of the Puke!

2009-01-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

So I spoke too soon. I puked everything up again. I'll keep the details to myself.

But that brings me back to being on an empty stomach. SOOO my lovely brother is bringing me some Jamba, which will hopefully stay in my stomach. Bottom line, though? Antibiotics and me don't seem to mix. This (and with my wisdom teeth) is the only time Ive ever had a bad side effect to them. (Well, the sulfa is a different story altogether).

I didn't go out today, but it's cold and dark and cloudy outside and RAINY. I know, I can barely believe it myself. Incredible. Unfortuantely there isn't much of a breeze so it's not really cold IN the house. Which sucks, because I have a really warm down comforter, and I get sweaty under it. I have the window open all the way and the curtain pulled back, but still not much luck.

I'm hoping that by tomorrow it will all be better - as far as my stomach ickyness. Oh? My back isn't hurting right now. Perfect, right? Whatever.

I took another four hour nap today. Fun.

Blah.

Randomness

2009-01-23T10:17:00.001-08:00

It's cold outside. Okay, not COLD like some of you think of it, but it's 57 and that's cold for here since we've been in 80+ degree weather for nearly two weeks. I'm loving it. I'm laying in bed and the sky is cloudy, it smells wet, the window wide open letting coolness flow in.

It's fabulous.

My mouth is fine. No pain, nothing. Only annoying that I can feel the stitch right there. Hopefully it'll fall out soon.

But of course that couldn't be the end of it.

My waist? So much pain. It's not longer just on one side, but instead the whole thing from left to right. It got worse over night. If I stand for too long, it hurts, if I lay down it hurts, if I do anything - it hurts. It hurts if I stay still. I took two tylenol extra strength - but so far no change. It makes me just want to sleep, but I don't want to. I want to get things done. I need to work on things. I need to do homework. But I don't want to. Because I'm a baby when it comes to pain and I don't wnat to deal with pain anymore than I have to.

Yesterday I took the $15K check to Toyota, so now that's done with and I just have to deal with paying BofA for my loan. Fun.

I love my car. I still don't even think of it as "my car". Weird. Yesterday I reached 100 miles. :( My poor baby is already getting old!

I'm thinking maybe it'd be a good idea to go to the Spa tonight or later today and see if the heat helps my wasit pain. Or take a bath. Or a shower. But it'll be temporary relief, I think. I want it ALL done. Gone. Buh-Bye. But I don't see that happening now and so I will whine about it for as long as I want.

I want to go out and drive my car and do things, but more of me not wanting to move. Actually, on Wednesday when I left for work? Oh goodness, I almost crashed because of a sharp pain in my waist. Blah.

What else can I whine about today? We'll wait and see!

So much better...

2009-01-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

I have come to realize that in addition to Sulfa, I might be allergic to penicillin. After I had my wisdom teeth out last month I went 2 days before throwing up everything in my stomach. This time? Not even 12 hours.

I took two penicillin after the surgery, in the doctor's office. Had my Jamba, then slept for four hours. Then felt crappy. Tired. Hungry but nothing looked good. I ate some cereal. Went out. Felt nausea, kept going. Came home. Rest, spent time with my family, tried to eat some mini pasta, came upstairs, barely in bed before I had to dart to the bathroom.

Yea. Guess what happened. EVERYTHING came up. And I know... it might be a bit TMI, but hey, it's what happened. It got all over the place. Floor, bathrub, side of toilet. Just... blah.

The good part, though? I feel good now. I don't feel as tired or as simply icky as I did before hand. That might have to do with the shower I took to get the yucky stuff off my legs.

Hopefully it'll stay this way. In case you don't know... I'm not taking anymore antibiotics.

Nitrous Oxide?

2009-01-22T16:55:00.001-08:00

It's good. I felt nice. Happy.

But? It has totally thrown me on my ass.

I slept for 3-4 hours when I got home, and now I'm tired again. I want to sleep some more.

I haven't eaten much (other than a Jamba and some cereal).

Nothing seems yummy to eat right now.

I'm not in pain, but I can feel/know something is different, and that's annoying.

So... bye.

Surgery

2009-01-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I have surgery again. I'm just loving knives these days, aren't I?

I haven't really looked into the pain and whatnot that comes with this particular surgery, but I'm sure it won't be pleasant. The doc mentioned it won't be as bad as the wisdom teeth removal, so that's something, right?

I just hope I don't have too much swelling OR trouble eating regular food. That would suck. I went through enough of that back then. Back in December. (AND? The teeth they took out? The area? Still sensitive!)

I'm only getting nitrous oxide for this surgery and that makes it a bit scarier. Although the lack of needle in my hand will be nice, being awake will not. I asked what it would feel like - and they told me that I would be so out of it that I wouldn't care what they did to me. BUT? The whole "Laughing Gas" name to it? Scares me. Because I'm afraid that I'm going to say stupid things and make a fool out of myself. I make a big enough fool of myself when I'm not under drugs.

We shall see how that goes.

I'll ask to stop at Jamba on the way home so that I can have something to eat. I'm not sure if I can drink from a straw after this surgery... but I hope I can.

See you on the flip side!

Immigration

2009-01-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

This is a tough subject in politics. There are many varying opinions, and most people are passionate about what they believe in, as they should be. I have my own views, and I will blog about them.

The news about some demonstrations to "remind" President Obama that it's something he needs to look into and take care of (stop building a fence, legalize illegal immigrants).

Well... yea, my opinions differ. SO I will blog about it because I feel a bit annoyed/mad about it. It's my opinion.

Anyway. Tonight I'm off to Wal*Mart for returns and other things. So... maybe later you'll get the post!

Morning Rituals

2009-01-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

Mine change.

When I have to go to work I wake up at 6. Waking up then gives me time to go through my reader, check CNN, and do other on-line stuff. Even before I had a reader I would wake up at 6. That comes from high school. In HS I had to catch the bus at 6:40am on the corner, so I woke up at 6, got dressed, ate and left. If I were to do that now? I could sleep in til 7. But... I choose the Internet.

Sometimes when I get up, when I am extra-tired and need more stimulation to get my butt moving, I'll get dressed for the day right away. Other times when I'm pretty awake, like today, I'll just stay online for a bit before using the bathroom and going downstairs to have breakfast.

I always watch Good Day LA. Have watched since HS, so a good 10 years I think.

I always have hot chocolate for breakfast. In HS I NEVER ate actual food, as I got older I started having oatmeal. Sometimes cereal, sometimes waffles, but mostly oatmeal.

Then I leave.

Pretty simple. I don't do makeup, I shower at night... so no extra work!

What's your ritual?

My Nephew Sitting

2009-01-20T20:23:00.001-08:00

My nephew put himself into a sitting position by himself!

Getting To Work

2009-01-20T19:51:00.000-08:00

But work this time is the school variety. I have to start school soon. As in, soon. As in today.

Today was my first "online" class. It's a technology class. I took the credential part of this course (515) and this is the masters program, 602. I basically have to...

Create a website (uh, did this and it's simple)
Create a powerpoint (maybe I can use one I already made?)
Create a Newsletter (which I did in 515)
Find web sources
Create an on-line gradebook.
Something called Fireworks (I think it has to do with editing pictures)
Flash something or another.
iMovie? We'll see.

Simple enough. But I actually have to do it. Right now I feel like I'll never be up and awake enough to do any of it.

Then Monday? I start my other two classes. Those I actually have to go to. With a professor I hate. That will be another experience. I can't even use my laptop in that class either. Blah.

But anyway, that will be the plan for the next week... do things!

Tomorrow? More work!

The Dream Has Come True

2009-01-20T06:03:00.000-08:00

You might assume that I mean MLK's dream. You'd be partly correct.

But I mean the dream of all those people who voted for Al Gore in 2000 and then were given Bush as president. For all those people who disapproved of the way Bush has handled and led the country for the past 8 years. For those victims of 9/11.

Today we finally get rid of what could possibly be the worst president in the history of our country.

Today we get a President that cares about the country we live in. That wants to help and has better ideas and plans as to how to move the United States in the direction it must move in order for us to continue being the country everyone wants to move to. Continue being the country that was founded so many years ago. A president that will turn the country around, even if it first gets worse and then better.

A president that knows how to talk and read and LEAD this country.

Today? Today our dream and hopes come true.

Barack Obama is about to become president and I am so happy.

I wish I could stay home to watch the inauguration, but unfortunately that's impossible - but now I realize WHY the teacher I'm subbing for today is absent - she is out somewhere celebrating today. Good for her. My dad took the day off from work. My dad who didn't really like Obama.

Today is a GREAT day.

Happy FREEDOM day!

Drumroll pleaseeeeee......

2009-01-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

Guess what? Try to guess and I bet you'll figure it out!

Okay, here it is:

Guess whose car that is!

YES! It's mine!

A BRAND NEW 2009 Toyota Corolla for me!

I might have preferred a different color (as my previous car is red and yea, it's red) but there was only one to choose from. It was their special deal. Only 3 cars at this price! Woo! Well? They had ONE left. Which really means that they are really sucking at selling cars.

They had THREE at that price starting on Friday. Today is Monday and they STILL had one (even if it is red). The price was good (below invoice costs), and I walked out only paying $1200. On my credit card.

NOW I have to get the check from BofA for the $15k loan and take it to Hamer (where I bought the car) and get my insurance taken off the Miata and put onto the Corolla (another $500). Then I will be set to go!

I'll give BIL my SWest credit so he can fly down and get the Miata and take it home with him (if it makes it all the way up there).

I'll be sure to take many pictures of my car, but the day was long. We started by going to Simi Toyota and after being there for some 30 minutes and being treated very badly by the floor manager there we headed to Hamer. Northridge Toyota wasn't interested in selling me a car at all.

Oh? And they rean my FICA score? Even HIGHER than the one I got online last week. AWESOMENESS! I just rock like that. I know.

Tomorrow I go to Haskell for work. My friend Lo who is a administrative technitian always knows when I'm there (since she gets to work after me) because she sees my car in the parking lot. Tomorrow? She won't see the Miata. She'll see a new Corolla, and I'm not sure she'll make the connection. We'll have to see! :)

I went to Target and got car seat covers and a steering wheel cover for the car. BUT I'm going to stop at Wal*Mart after work tomorrow and see what they have and if it's nicer and/or cheaper. I spent $50 plus on those things. I got plain ones. A grey steering wheel cover for $10 which was nice and soft so that in the summer it won't burn! Then covers where $40 - plain black, but water/stain resistant - for the front seats. Specifically so that when my niece sticks her feet on the back of the front seet any dirt and crap will go on the seat cover. I also bought a stickie thingie to put on the dash so I can put my cell phone there. I'm going to also get my Bluetooth in there so I start using that again. Oh! Did I mention there is an outlet for my iPod? totally awesome! :)

A post about the trip will come at some point, but obviously I'm more enthralled by other things at the moment.

Days Inn

2009-01-18T07:52:00.000-08:00

We stayed in a Days Inn hotel last night. Oh boy did it suck.

Sheets? You know, the bottom ones. The supposedly FITTED sheets? Non-existent. I HATE these. The ones that are regular top sheets but because the hotel is too cheap they use them as bottom sheets. Yea. HORRIBLE.

THEN there is the smell of cigarette smoke in the bathroom/entryway. In our NON-smoking room! EWWW!

But THEN? THEN? THEN at 12:25am I wake up with this: BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....BEEP....BEEP and on and on and on. I'm a light sleeper, so BEEPS right behind my head wake me up easily. I call the front desk (after assuming that I'd get them from dialing a "zero" because the phone has NO information telling me this) and tell them about the problem. What do they do? Call the room. DUDE! The alarm has been going off and off and off, NO ONE IS THERE. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep... I wake up at 1:30am and decide I can't take it anymore. I call back. Dude tells me that he called and no one answered. NO ONE IS THERE! That's why no one answered. Why don't you check your computer and see what it says? I repeat tell him that in some similar words, although I was half asleep so I don't remember exactly. FINALLY someone goes there to turn it off. BUT MAKES A SHIT LOAD OF NOISE IN DOING SO!

Which brings me to the complaint about the alarm clock is the fact that the stupid walls are so freaking thin that you can hear everything.

We have yet to go to breakfast this morning, but we'll see if there is something to complain about when it comes to that.

Saving grace? There is a Jamba nearby.

MLK Vaca Day 2

2009-01-17T20:47:00.000-08:00

We got out of the hotel fairly early this morning. But not before getting some breakfast. The breakfast? Awesome in that there was a waffle maker and I got to make my own waffle! Yum!

We headed for the long drive into Yosemite. We were able to go in and and play with some snow, Nikki sliding down the snow, er... ice. She had fun. Then fell off the round sled thing and scratched her cheek. But she calmed down and continued on. She whined that we left there to head into Yosemite Valley.

Relaying all the information isn't all that much fun if I don't have pictures to accompany the words, so I'll stop there and post pictures on Monday or so.

Tonight we're in the hotel in Fresno, CA. Tomorrow it's less than an hour to Sequoia and once we get through the park, it'll be about 2-3 hours home. Not bad at all.

Scary

2009-01-17T20:42:00.000-08:00

It's scary. I looked at the web-site for one of the classes I'm taking this semester - and SCARY. Of course? It's not more than what I've done in the past in school, but I've now become used to NOT doing school work and it's a whole new world for me. Again.

And the class I looked at? Not even the hard class.

Plans

2009-01-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

We got to the hotel at about 9pm last night. It's a decent Comfort Inn. It's in Oakhurst, CA outside of Yosemite.

It was an interesting night. Went to sleep around 10-10:30 and woke up near 1am with the people in the room next to us banging on their door, or someone trying to kill someone, I don't know. It involved a lot of noise, talking and banging on doors. The room is loud - the toilet? People can hear it down the street when you flush it, and apparently my brother pees 4 times a night.

Today we are off to Yosemite. It'd be nice to find snow, but it seems unlikely. But we'll be doing some hiking. Luckily I brought my hiking shoes (okay, not really hiking, walking, but they work). The only issue will be if my waist continues to hurt. It's giving me a bit of trouble, and unlike when my back hurts, it makes it difficult to move.

My brother wil be sure to take lots of pictures and when he posts them when we get back home, I'll post as well. I'll buy some souvenirs, but not many. Something for my parents (and for TEO, if not my dad will get mad at me) and something for myself (a pin maybe? or a wood box!! - or BOTH!).

BSIL just got out of the shower (her 30 minute shower). She's now walking naked around the room (she is oh so modest, HA!) and Oh My Goodness. Her boobs are SOOOO tiny. It's amazing to me when everyone in my family is big boobed (me ala 34DD and growing apparently). But I digress.

We'll get some breakfast here at the hotel and then maybe some Jamba Juice (cause it's down the block and when there is a JJ in the middle of no where? Totally awesomeness!). Then off we'll go and freeze our butt's off. But I brought warm clothes, so I think I'll be okay. Hopefully.

Hopefully we'll find snow. Ideally I want to see it snowing, but that's definitely not going to happen. Tomorrow... or maybe tonight.... I'll tell you about the time we did see snowing. Or maybe I already did, in which case I'll re-tell you.

For now? Have a great Saturday!

Prayers For Harper

2009-01-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

One of the blogs I follow is Kelly's Korner. Kelly and Scott have been waiting for their little girl Harper to be born for a long time. Kelly has kept awesome updates... and now she needs our help.

Something went wrong and Harper is in the NICU at their local Childrens Hospital.

Please pray for baby girl Harper!

Thumb Sucking

2009-01-16T05:39:00.000-08:00

I drank from a bottle until I was about 5 or 6 years old. I have a picture of myself making my own bottle (hot chocolate milk, still my breakfast to this day) in front of the microwave. My mom never stopped be, I think she mentioned it to the dentist... but he wasn't too worried.

Now, at 24? I don't think it's a big deal. I had orthodontics when I was a teenager, so maybe that helped, but I never really noticed any deformities because of my excessive bottle drinking.

Nikki, my 4y4m niece, used a paci until she was 4 months old and then dropped it entirely. Then? Started sucking her thumb. Suck, suck, suck. Sucking enough that her thumb became RAW. We tried different ways of getting her to stop the sucking, but nothing worked. In order to get her to at least decrease the amount of time she spent sucking her thumb, I convinced her that sucking her thumb was only at night in bed, or taking naps. She listened to that. Then in May 08 she had her first dentist appointment. Dentist did not want her sucking her thumb (although? shouldn't he say it's okay so that later on he can get some work fixing it?).

But Nikki was too smart for that dentist.

Nikki: But Kathy said it was okay at night!

That one bit me in the ass, for a bit anyway.

Bro then showed her some disgusting pictures of what her teeth could look like if she didn't stop sucking her thumb. That scared her straight and she quit right away. It stayed that way until just after her birthday in October. Then? then she started doing it again. This time, though? She knew that we wouldn't stand for it, so she'll hide. If she's laying in bed she'll go under the covers. Or you'll find her on the floor in the fetal position hiding it. She's very creative, that I can say!

Her thumb is once again raw from all the sucking, and it looks quite yucky (not to mention feeling!)

Not sure what we can do at this point other than continuing to pull her thumb out when she's asleep and get her to stop when she's awake... but I feel sort of bad doing it. Since she does it when she's asleep it makes me think that she doesn't do it because her thumb is yummy or whatnot, but because it really soothes her. But what doesn't she need soothing from? And why so much of it?

She's a generally happy girl. She's always laughing and smiling. BUT she is VERY sensitive.

Example: Today at Target she was picking up and putting back the glass baby jars, we kept telling her to stop, they could fall and break. After one of these warnings? She just started crying. BAWLING. She does this a lot. If you tell her something she did was wrong or bad - she'll cry. It breaks my heart. I wish I knew why she is so sensitive and HOW can I help her overcome it.

BUT that's another story for another post for another time.

Impovement And Success!

2009-01-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

I went to Wells Fargo on Monday and applied for an Auto Loan - which they offered me for 8.35%. My dad had to ask the man to repeat himself.

Today as I researched interest rates online I found that BofA has them starting at 4.8%. Not bad, not bad at all. I went for it!

I now have a $15,000 car loan at 4.95%! At 60 months.

It'll end up being $282 or so a month. Not too bad! (Of course now I have to find the car at a good deal!)

As far as insurance? If I just stick with AAA and get my multiple car discount, it's $155 and pennies a month. I have to pay it in one big chunk so that I don't pay interest, but my mom will pay it and I will pay HER per month for the insurance.

Basically? My monthly expenses? Going up from $35 to $700 or so. I'm supposed to start paying them 20% of my paycheck to them as "rent" (which will really be me paying them back to put a dent into the $20,000 I owe them for school loans).

I'm not exactly sure how this will work out (being that in December? I made less than $700). It will just depend on how much I work. I have lots of work for February, and a more than December this month, and I already have some days booked in March.

Of course the "rent" won't be paid if I'm not working. If I can't get a job as a teacher in the summer (which I MIGHT, I know last year they were having difficulty finding them, but I wasn't a teacher yet and couldn't apply, but I'm so open this year!), I'm going to go back to work at Huntington Learning Center - which will give me SOME cash, but a lot less than what I make subbing (read:half). But it's something.

So what's left is getting the car, which should happen on Monday! Cross your fingers for me!

(After work tomorrow we leave for Sequoia and Yosemite. I'll be bringing my laptop with, so if there is WiFi in the hotels I'll post, if not? Ahh! I guess maybe I should pre-schedule some posts so I continue on my Blog 365! If not, see you on Monday!)

Price Comparison

2009-01-15T10:23:00.000-08:00

I have figured out what it was that my brother wanted me to do as far as calling places.

I need to call dealers and see if they have the STANDARD Toyota Corolla LE, with no $200 car mats or this silly heater thing (Umm? Ya'll? It's January 15th and it's in the upper 80s). The only addition is the keyless entry and whatnot.

Right now I am making a chart with the name, address and phone number and a space to write down what they say.

Bro says that this is for the whole "supply and demand" aspect. If the car is available in many dealerships, then the better deal I can get by letting a dealer know I can go elsewhere for my purchase. If it's not available everywhere... then too bad for me. This is what will help in negotiating a price. According to him.

So let the research begin!

Digital Cameras

2009-01-14T17:54:00.000-08:00

We all have them. We all love to hate them. We love them when they work, we want to destroy them when the pictures are blurry, overexposed, or just plain horrible (even if it's not the cameras fault).

I feel the same way about mine. I have a Kodak EasyShare 10MP camera. It was a hand-me down Birthday Present (when I turned 23) from my brother. He got a better one and gave me his. I liked it for a long while. It did things (like take decent pictures) that my Canon didn't do. Butnow? The past couple of months? SUCKAGE!

The pictures are mostly coming out overexposed or underexposed. They are superbright or superdark. The only pictures that are generally mostly salvageable are the ones I take outside. Those are decent.

What does all this mean? It means I need a new digital camera. I also need a new phone, but that's another story that will have to wait.

So what I beg of you here is: WHAT CAMERA DO YOU USE? And? do you like it? Does it take good pictures? INside and out? That's what I need. I might not buy right away, but I want to start looking at what others use.

Feel free to re-post this on your blog and help me in my quest for the great Niece and Nephew picture taking camera.

Useless Trip

2009-01-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

Apparently my brother and I had different thoughts as far as what we were going to the dealership last night to do. His was: just look at the car. Mine? Well, more than that - haggle, stuff like that. Get me a good price!

Oh well.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to have an "appt" with the people at Hamer Toyota with my dad and maybe the Bro will come too. But I don't know. We shall see about that one.

In the meantime Bro wants me to call all the different dealers and ask them if they have the car in stock. I'm not exactly sure why he wants me to do that, or what it would do to help, because I'm looking for a brand new 2009 Corolla - so I think most of the dealers will have the car. But I did it anyway, by cheating - I looked at on-line inventories. I found several places, including 2 that are cheaper than Hamer's base price of $18,314. The Simi one is actually over a grand less at $17,310.

In other unrelated news... all my molars are eating at my gums and it hurts like hell! I know at least one of them is due to the tooth being sharp for some reason. Not sure what I'm going to do about that. But today I have the appt with the dentist to see about the implant. The dentist and my surgeon have to work together to make a "game plan" about it. Hopefully it'll go alright. The space I have is very small, so I know the surgeon was having "issues" with it, but said it should work. I'm sick of having an empty space in my mouth. It ruins pictures.

I work a half day today. 11-2:15, then there is the dentist.

I didn't go out with BS last night, but I might tonight. Hopefully will. He has a Wii at home and so I'd love to play it with him. I'll suck, but he wants a partner to play with, and I am totally digging that. Although I'll ebarass myself COMPLETELY in the process.

Now I need to stop typing and get my butt in gear to go to work (okay, I'm dressed, combed, ready - I just need to the actualy moving - lol.

Bank & Dealers

2009-01-13T15:18:00.001-08:00

So the bank? 8.35% was their offer for me. Yea. Right. No. Way. That is WAY WAY WAY too high.

But then last night we (BS and I) went to Hamer Toyota in Mission Hills. A huge Toyota dealer, that supposedly sells the most in the country, but who knows how true that is. I looked at the new Corollas. They are VERY cute. New body. Woo! I test drove it, and it was nice. But the price? A bit high.

Then we found an 07 Camry. Took that one for a drive, also very nice. Only 24,000 miles, not bad. Price? We'll see. The dealer is trying to sell it to us at $300 a month, we want $250 a month. I couldn't buy it last night at that price, BUT we have a "meeting" on Thursday to go back and take a look at it again with my dad. In the meantime, I might go to the Northridge Toyota today with my dad and see what their used cars are.

I'm still in the middle of how I feel about used vs. new, but I see the value of buying a used. It all depends on how it is. The miles, the price, etc.

I have a doctor's appointment tonight, and after that we shall see. Maybe I'll take my camera and take pictures of the cars I like.

There Is Too Much!

2009-01-13T15:08:00.000-08:00

A lot transpired since my last post.

But first a bit of a back story. Sort of.

On Sunday after going up to the mountains I went out with BS. BS is younger that me. A few months, but at the moment he is 23 and I am 24. This is usually a big no-no for me. Simply for that little younger fact. Young men are idiots. Well, all men are, but the young ones are even worse. I've tried my best to stay away from guys my age. Robert. Michael. Daniel. All young guys, all idiots.

Then I got to thinking. I've never really had a good experience with anyone older, either. I'm not turning them away (well, in essence) so why the younger ones? So for now? I've decided that seeing BS isn't too bad of an idea. But I probably just jinxed myself and it's going to suck.

Anyway, we went to Fridays. I paid for myself because he recently moved and was strapped for cash (in an older guy this would be a big no-no, because by their age they should have savings, and money for dinner - but he's 23, just moved, etc, I get it). We had a good time We talked and laughed and watch the end of the Lakers game. We stayed after paying the bill for a while. We talked by our cars for a while. We planned on chatting on line later. We did. Then Last night? I went out looking for cars with him. It was a "date" but then again, not a date. This time I hugged him good night.

He's tall (6'3) and skinny (150). He's cute.

We'll see how it goes. I might see him again tonight... but we all know how the seeing each other everyday thing can go.

Car Purchasing

2009-01-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've never had a new car. I've driven one. Never had my own. Back in 2003 my Sister and BIL gave me their Mazda Miata because they had a new baby and I didn't have a car and what else could they do?

The car? A 1993. Not sure how many miles it had 6 years ago, now? Over 110,000. I've put money into it, which is fine since I didn't pay anything for it to begin with. BUT? I'm tired of putting money into a car that I know will only end up breaking down again. That money can be used towards a new car.

So? New car time.

Although I'm not working constantly, as long as I work 3-4 days a month I have enough money to make monthly payments. But I'd be getting a loan. So that'd be making things easier. I'm hoping of not having to pay more than $500 a month. I think I could deal with $500.

That is, of course, with me not spending a lot of money on other things. No eating out, no nothing. Which I can do if I am FORCED to do it. Which I might be in this case.

I got my credit-report today as well as my FICO score. I don't know why people don't talk about this score, but in case I'm missing some importance on keeping it secret, I won't post it. BUT it was higher than I thought, and impressive enough.

Tonight? In an hour? I'm going to go to the bank with my dad and see about getting me a car loan. Maybe $15,000? I don't know.

Then later tonight I might go out with the guy from last night (did I talk about him yet?) to look at cars. Just look and see what's out there and available, what I like and don't like, and at what prices.

Wish me luck!

Evil Professors

2009-01-12T12:49:00.000-08:00

So. A certain professor that I had during my credential classes is coming back to haunt me. Seriously.

This professor, we'll call him Prof. Idiot, or PI for short, taught the credential class for science. This isn't learning science, but learning how to teach science. NO one in the class liked him. No one in any of the other classes liked him either. But we couldn't really do anything about that. The class was torture, most of the time. I'm not one to just take bullshit... and I didn't really take it from him either. BUT I had to pass the class so I did what I had to do.

Things came to breaking when there was an assignment due but he missed that day of class, and didn't send out an e-mail to let us know. So we found out once we got to class. Which was a nice relief and there was some cheering, but DAMN! I drove all the way to school to find out I had to turn around and go back. The problem was that this guy? Assignments need to be turned in on time, no e-mailing them, can't miss class, blah blah blah. Anyway, so that day that the assignment was due he wasn't there (there was a fire in the area he lived). Okay, fine. BUT? I couldn't make it to the next class. I e-mailed him to let him know of that; asked if I could e-mail him the assignment or turn it in a class day late. He tells me yes, I can turn it in late BUT? It'll be graded down a letter. Yea. A=B, B=C, etc. So I send him back a nice, polite e-mail letting him know that I understand that that is his policy. But I also gently reminded him that the DAY the assignment was actually due? I HAD IT THERE, he just wasn't there to turn it in to.

Gotcha PI! He realized the problem there and let me turn it in late without a downgrade on my, well, grade.

That's not the point, though. That professor? That I thought I'd NEVER have to see again because I was NOT planning on taking any more science classes. Unfortunately he is teaching what appears to be (from what I've been told) the HARDEST class in the masters program. Of course!

Nothing I can do about that since he's the only one teaching it (and there is only one section). SO I'm looking for the texts for my classes. I've gotten 3 of the 4 books. Awesome. I've left the last book which is the most expensive for last. The American version of the book costs $115. The International Version is supposed to only cost $60. If I get the version previous to the most recent one? Even cheaper than that. I e-mail him to ask him if either the International or old version would work and his reply?

-Hello Katherine,
Regarding EED 610, the course texts as well as all other course expectations will
be reviewed on the first day of class.
Thanks and I shall see you then,

SO I sent him an e-mail back letting him know that I'm asking because it will take time for me to order the book and for it to get to me. MEANING: I won't have it for the first or second week of class most likely. So dude? don't get upset with me cause it'll be because of YOU!

So frustrating.

Weight Loss: Week 1 Complete

2009-01-12T10:31:00.001-08:00

So it was a week ago when I went crazy and felt as though I needed to loose weight FAST! Although I do need to loose weight, it doesn't have to be FAST. I weighed myself again this morning.... and! I didn't loose any weight. BUT I didn't gain any either. So it was a draw.

Which is good. Because? You know how I went to Friday's THREE times in FOUR nights? And each of those 3 times? I had a Bahama Mama. YUMMY alcoholic drink with RUM and other calorie rich ingredients. So not loosing weight and not gaining any? A positive thing. So I'm hoping this week is better, but if it's not, it's okay. Oh, I forgot that in addition to those THREE days at Friday's Last Monday I was at PF Changs. So yea, for what I ate? The weight is good.

I'll call it a wash and move on. Positively. Lean Cuisine for lunch!

Sunday? Already?

2009-01-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday went by really fast, or it seemed like it, at least.

I ended up going out to see the moon last night. Yup. The moon. Last night it was 14% bigger than it is usually seen. It was HUGE and REALLY bright. Some random guy that I met on Match.com last night asked me to go see the moon, and I said - "why not?", it went towards fulfilling my new years resolutions. This isn't a guy I'm going to see again, at least not on a date - but I did have a nice time.

We drove up into the Santa Monica Mountains to an area that lets us see the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles (Santa Monica and other areas) on the other side. It was really nice. The night was dark, except for the moonlight (which was bright) and it was clear because of the massive winds we've been having the past couple of days. I didn't take any pictures, but I'll probably go up there again with my brother to do a tiny hike and I'll take pictures. I'll also have more details about how cool the exact area is, too.

After that we went to dinner at Friday's. I had a meal I normally have - Chicken and Sausage with Penne, but the pasta was underdone and the chicken was dry. I mentioned it to the waitress and we got dessert for free. Woo! We did a lot of talking, and in general the conversation was nice. But we're very different people, so yea, it wouldn't work.

The last two nights I was really tired and fell asleep really quickly. AND I slept late. It was bliss. Of course until my niece opened the door to see if I was awake, and therefore woke me up. But it was late, so it's okay.

I need to get on the ball to buy the last textbook and also study for the exam... and pick a day to take it. If I pick a day and pay for it, then I'll be more apt to study since I'd have a deadline. Also, tomorrow or one day this coming week, I need to go to a few other schools dropping off my card so I can try and get more calls from more schools. Which would be REALLY nice. But... we'll see.

On Friday I'm going to go with my brother, BSIL, and Nikki to the mountains (Sequoia and Yosemite) to see the SNOW! SNOW! REAL SNOW! Hopefully it'll be snowING, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. This, though, means I need to go out and do some winter clothes shopping. Specifically: snow boots and turtlenecks. I have snow socks and gloves, I have thermal underwear and thermal shirts, sweaters and a nice warm jacket. I actually noticed the need for a turtleneck last night when I went up to the mountain, since just a sweater would have been (okay, it WAS) not enough because of the wind, and a jacket would have been TOO warm. So yea. I need turtleneck(s).

Today I'm off to Porter Ranch for some of that shopping, and tonight - no idea. Just started talking to someone online, and maybe a date tonight, but not sure.

Have a great day!

Really?

2009-01-10T14:11:00.000-08:00

MM signs on at like 10:30 this morning and tells me that he can't go out with me today. Obviously I ask him why that is. Oh, he'd rather not talk about it.

Nice. Whatever.

I decided to stay in and not go out with my mom either. Spend a nice afternoon inside. I spent some of that time making a video montage of Mika's life. Okay. I lied, I started with Jonathan and went on to Mika. I'll do the other two, I promise. My mom really liked Jonathan's! I'm glad. I was doing it for her, mostly.

I have to say this. I'm watching Keeping Up With The Kardashian's and... man! Kim is such a baby! She's having a whiny fit. It's quite hilarious to watch, but makes me sad for her family. Brat. They are all such drama queens. Oh well. Fun to watch!

I read all these blogs where the owners live in areas where there is snow falling and trapping them inside. I want to experience that. I want to be in the middle of the snow. I want to SEE it snowing. I've seen it in the past, but it was years and years ago. I want that experience. I want to drink a cup of hot chocolate while staring at the snow falling outside. What do I get here? Wind. A LOT of wind and bright blue skies and upper 70 degree weather. Great January.

It worked!

2009-01-09T22:42:00.001-08:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One True Media

2009-01-09T22:16:00.000-08:00

Maybe I just don't know how to use it. Because. I. Just. Uploaded. Pictures. Again. BUT THEY AREN'T THERE!

Hmph! Maybe I can upload to Photobucket and go from there. We'll see.

Disclaimer

2009-01-09T21:20:00.000-08:00

Yes, my last post was sort of dramatic. But I needed to get it out, because, honestly - it's how I feel sometimes. At the time that I wrote the post I was feeling very down and the post helped. I forgot about my "problems" soon thereafter and have been find the rest of the day. Just in case you were wondering.

As far as the current situation? I texted K today telling him that I was sorry if he wasn't interested in dating me, but to please be upfront about it. He texted me back soon there after telling me that, that wasn't the case at all. He was just busy preparing for school which is starting soon (for him, he's working on a masters). Now, I didn't get excited as I would have in the past, because that doesn't really mean anything. He could just be saying it in order to not man up to not wanting to go out. Then, of course, there was another text telling me "how could I leave those boobies". Yea. He did. But because of the size of the "boobies" I'm pretty used to that type of remark from guys.

As far as MM? We were supposed to go out for lunch tomorrow and spend the afternoon together? Haven't heard from him all day. I sent him an e-mail early in the day, and then I called him at 7 and left him a messege asking. I won't call again. He's been very excited about going out, and very "into" me (I think, anyway) - so he's probably busy or something but I'm not stressing.

In other areas...

For Christmas my sister gave my mom a digital frame. She has been really excited about it the past couple of days, and mentioned something about a collage. I don't know exactly what she imagining or picturing, but I thought maybe I could do something. In reading blogs I've come across montages that people have made using One True Media, I figured that I might as well look into it and see what it was all about.

As I've posted in the past, I'm not a very creative person - so this is a semi-big deal for me. We'll see how it'll turn out. Right now? I'm uploading pictures. I figure that if I can do one (the one i'm *trying* to do is of the girls trip to our house last week), then I can do one for Christmas, intermingling pictures of our Christmas up north, and the others down here (for which I'll need to get more pictures). Then I'll do the obligatory "from birth til now" videos for each of them, starting with Camila who's birthday is the 19th, then Mika on 4/1, Jonathan 6/21, and finally Nikki on 10/7. Who knows. Maybe I'll do one for myself.

Crap, OTM is stuck on a picture. It's been at 8% for a while now. Crap, I had to start it all over. I blame Blogger. It's not thier fault, but I do.

I watched the new Howie Mandel show. Yea, not all that great... I don't think it will last very long. Now I'm watching another new show, "Flashpoint", so far - I'm liking. Doesn't hurt that one of the guys on there is a cute.... older guy (older for me anyway).

Of course now that I'm ready to post my latest pictures, I can't find my SD card reader. Great. I need a new one of those. Next time I go out. For sure. Soooo TEO is transferring them to her computer and then to my USB drive. So you may or may not get pictures today (as if you cared anyway).

Lonliness

2009-01-09T15:56:00.000-08:00

These posts, like my tears, are endless.

I have dated quite a few guys. Dozens. I've slept with quite a bit too (enough that I don't even want to count). I don't know why I've done that, and it doesn't really bother me all that much.

What bothers me is that I can't find anyone. Yea, I go on tons of dates, and usually we have a good time. I remember very few times that I have turned the guy down. It's almost always the other way around.

Why do none of these guys want to spend time with me, get to know me, care for me. Sure, I've had a couple of relationships, if they can even be called that. Aaron? It was my first relationship and it last 2 months. Then came Robert, that lasted longer, 4 months, but also came to abrupt end. Lastly Michael, also 2 months. All ended mostly suddenly and with almost absolutely NO concrete reason as to why. I ask, I plead to be told so I can work on whatever it is that is so horrible about me that doesn't make anyone want to stay with me - but none can give me a reason.

There are always those contradicting ways to date. Be on your best behavior! But if my best behavior isn't really me, then won't they just find out later and extend the inevitable? Be yourself! But do I want to be myself? Is it me that they don't like? Be hard to get! Don't let them kiss you, only a quick hug goodbye. That way they'll be left wanting more! Be easier to get! Why do you want to be hard to get? If you want to kiss him and he does too, then do it!

But which way is the right way? Is it a combination? Is it none of them and there is another option?

I don't dress slutty, I show the right amount of cleavage. I let them talk about themselves, ask questions, tell them a bit about myself. I don't hide things about me. Is that the real problem?

I'm very honest. I don't hide most things. Guys say that this is good. Lying and hiding are turn-offs. But is that true? Or do they want me to hide things. I mean, I don't flat out tell them bad things, I don't say "you're cute, but stupid" or any other honest insults. I don't insult them.

So why? Why cannot one guy like me enough to want to be with me for more than a couple of months.

Sexually I've had no complaints. Great. I'm good in bed, I give a good BJ. But I don't CARE about that. It's that centuries old problem... they want me for my body and not for anything else beyond sex. There is a ME behind the sex. A ME who loves, and cares, and wants things.

In talking with Andrew... about all this... he said about me, in a text:

"You are cute. Smart. Very loving. Focused on your career." (he also, in a different text, earlier on, said that I would be totally worth paying for to have sex with... trust me, it was in context and wasn't a bad comment)

But I guess those aren't the things that men are looking for in a woman.

So what are men looking for?

TOMS Shoes please read

2009-01-09T10:24:00.000-08:00

Blake Mycoskie (who was on The Amazing Race 8) traveled to Argentina to look for adventure. In his trip he discovered the spirit of the people there. How they continued to move on, and work, even though they were in desperate need of outside help. These people were positive, even though they live in poverty. Blake felt a responsibility to help these people and so he began a company - TOMS.

TOMS is a shoe company that is based out of Santa Monica, CA. The shoes are made in China and Argentina (and soon in other countries as well). The shoe design comes from one that my siblings used in Argentina when they were little. In Spanish they are called "alpargata", which is a rope soled shoe.

For every pair of TOMS shoes you purchase, they will donate a pair of shoes in your name to kids in need, not only in Argentina, but around the world.

What an awesome deal is that? It's an AMAZING way of helping the children in need around the world.

The shoes range in price from $42 to $98 for women, $42 to $68 for men, and $34 to $49 for children. They also sell some other items (shirts, onesies, caps, and bags from $28-$68)

PLEASE go over to their website and look through the shoes, and see if you could use any of those. I know the times are hard financially, but think of it as half price, you're getting two shoes for the price of one, and the second pair is going to someone who REALLY needs them.

Actual Lindsey Sighting

2009-01-08T22:51:00.000-08:00

I know! I can't believe it either!

She texted me and let me know she was leaving. Unfortunately I thought she was leaving from work and not home. Work is much closer to Friday's than home. Oh well. I sat and waited for half an hour. In the cold. By cold? I mean like 65. Yea. But there was a small breeze and it made me cold. But anyway, she let me know that she was still stuck on the freeway. At THAT point I went inside.

What passed before me? A whoreish slut. With a kid. She had on a jean skirt that barely covered her ass. She had stiletto type heels BUT with platforms in the front. Her top was a halter and there was boob leakage all over the place. I wish I had taken a picture. It was just... horrible. PLUS the 5 year old.

Dinner was decent. I can't say I had an amazing time, but it was nice. We hadn't seen each other in a few months (other than a brief moment last month), and it was almost as though we weren't used to each other. But we know what we each like, and dinner was good. Well, I take that back. The food wasn't all great. I tried a new dish - the Beef Stroganoff in a brown sauce... it wasn't impressive at all. The beef wasn't very tender, the sauce didn't have much taste and the noodles weren't anything out of the usual. I finished the beef and the mushrooms and left most of the noodles.

After dinner (did I mention the nice alcoholic Bahama Mama I had? Mmm!) we walked up to Wal*Mart and walked around... but again I felt sort of uncomfortable (and I think this will have to develop into another post about Lindsey). I got a frame for a picture of Mika that I had, and that was it. I took a couple of pictures of the two of us right before going our way. I'll upload pictures soon.

In other unrelated news - there was an earthquake in San Bernardino tonight, while we were eating, or maybe by then we were out the door towards Wal*Mart. I didn't feel it, but my parents did. Mom said her bed began to shake. I'm sad I missed it. I was born here and am used to them, but we don't feel them that often, so when they occur I like to be able to feel them. Hmm. Another post: Earthquakes!

Alright, tomorrow I'm taking my mom to get blood work done early in the morning (she's fasting for it), so I'm gonna go to sleep!

Skype Randomness

2009-01-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

I have Skype on my computer, which I use to talk to my family.

Tonight I got a random call from someone who's name was Youf. Yea. I hit decline and go about my never-ending search of new blogs to follow (because 115 is NOT enough). An IM pops up from Youf. And... well, I can't really do this conversation justice... I'll just copy and paste it.

YOUF: IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SEE MY DECK
Kathy: hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I was seriously cracking up at this to begin with... but it got better!

Kathy: does it have lawn chairs on it?
YOUF: NO
YOUF: OK?
Kathy: I only like deck's with white lawn chairs on it, and a nice table to hold my plate
YOUF: YES
YOUF: MY LAWN ARE WHITE
YOUF: BUT I SHAVE
YOUF: THEM
Kathy: Oh no, I like green lawns, not white ones.
YOUF: OK
YOUF: I WILL FIND
YOUF: GREEEN LAWNS
YOUF: SO??

He's going to find green lawns for me. How sweet!

Kathy: I don't think your deck is big enough for me.
YOUF: YOU WANT SEE
Kathy: I don't like seeing small decks.
YOUF: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YOUF: OH

I thought at this point he figured out his mistake and was going to fix it. No. He did not get it. But I was literally cracking up!

Kathy: They won't hold all my furniture
YOUF: VERY BIG
YOUF: BABY
Kathy: hahahahahahah
Kathy: Does it come with a swingset?
YOUF: I M IN ERECTION KNOW
Kathy: But is there a swingset? With heating lamps too?
Kathy: I couldn't leave without heating lamps. Or Fans1 I need fans!
YOUF: YEAH
YOUF: BABY
YOUF: YES
YOUF: ALL YOU NEED
Kathy: What color is the floorboard?
Kathy: And the swing set?
Kathy: What colors are there?
YOUF: SWING?
Kathy: Yea. The swing set. I want a deck with a swing set on it.
YOUF: YOU CAN SEE WITH YOUR EYES
YOUF: NOW
YOUF: OK
Kathy: No. You can't give me what I need.
YOUF: YESSSSSSSSSS
YOUF: OK?
YOUF: OR I LEAVE
Kathy: You don't even have a swing set!? With a slide too!

After that? He tried calling me 2 more times.

At Some Point @ MM

2009-01-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

I still haven't studied. And I don't think any studying will happen today. Last night I did do some cleaning of the room, so there isn't as much junk on the floor. I also took out my albums and put them in the hallway/stairs so that I could have more space in my bookshelf. Pictures will come.

Dinner with Lindsey is scheduled for 6pm. But like with anything and her, that can change at any moment or at the last moment.

Remember how the other day I mentioned that I was going to post about dates so that I remember them? Well, on Saturday I have another date, with someone else. K? Didn't contact me yesterday - and he might still be interested, but he might not, and I'm okay with it either way. However, I will not sit and wait for him when I have other options. My other option? MM.

MM is the person I mentioned earlier that I went out with a few months (okay, like 7 months) ago and have no recollection of it. So we started chit chatting, and he seems quite interested in me. I don't remember toooo much. I have, after being told, some memory of the day. Of making out for a while, going through Wal*Mart, etc.

Lately, the past couple of months, we've been doing quite a bit of chatting online. He's tall. Just thought I'd mention that. I hope the date goes well - I'm not sure where we're going - but we're having lunch together. He said he wanted to have lunch instead of dinner so that we could spend the afternoon together. I thought that was nice.

Dating is so difficult. Or maybe it's just hard for me, I don't know. The actual date part of it isn't hard, what's hard is the aftermath. What is he thinking? Are we going to go out again? Does he like me for me or because I wear a 34DD? Is he looking for a relationship, or just some short-term companionship? It is so difficult to know. I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't looking for something long-term. If they are just in it for the short run, even if he's the greatest guy, I'm not really interested, because I'm looking down the line, not just tomorrow.

Things have gotten somewhat easier as I've gotten older - or maybe I've just grown and learned how to handle things better.

Don't worry, I'll tell you how Saturday goes.

Success, CSUN Wise

2009-01-07T21:18:00.001-08:00

I was able to get the paper(s) I need to defer my loan payments, now I just need to (photocopy and) send them off to Sallie Mae.

Tomorrow it seems as though I'm going to Friday's with Lindsey. If that actually happens, I'm not sure. We'll have to wait and see.

I was looking at a blog and it made me sad..., because I'm not where near as creative as the author of the blog is. My room is a mess. Even when I clean it, and it's organized, and there isn't junk on the floor or tabletops, the walls are still disgusting. Try as I might to get rid of clutter, it's still there. Things break, or fall, and they are left there. Part of it, as with all other problems, is that my room is really small and I don't have much space to put anything. I'm going to TRY to do it once again tomorrow. Move things around, make space, something. I like the general layout of the furniture, but there's so much of it! And even with the amount there is, STILL there is no place to put things.

Tomorrow I'll make a post all about my room. I'll take pictures (before the initial cleaning of the clothes off the floor) and during the re-re-re-re-organization. But hey, it'll be the first one for this year. Not the last, by far.

a La Weight Watchers

2009-01-07T15:03:00.001-08:00

Kimberly has done Weight Watchers and it worked for her. I've tried to do it, but I can never stick to it. But try, try again, right?

Today:
Hot Chocolate, non-fat milk: 3pts (breakfast)
Lean Cuisine: 6pts (lunch)
WW Ice Cream: 2pts
Yoplait Yogurt: 2pts

According to Kimberly I should eat 23 points a day, max. So, up to now I'm eaten 13 points and have 10 left for the rest of the day. We'll see how I do with that!

Wish me luck!

Busy Week

2009-01-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Next week I am busy. I have 3 appointments in a row - Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. An MRI, a dentist, and a Pain Management. Fun. Friday I have to take my mom to the doctor's for a check up as well.

I got a call yesterday to work on 2/26 and 27. The teacher is one I've subbed for a few times before, she likes me - the kids like me - it's nice. She said that she likes having someone she can call that she likes to come and sub for her. That's a good thing for more than just her calling me, but because she'll mention me to other teachers and I'll get more work. Hopefully.

Weight Loss? Eh. I'm not eating a lot, that's something, right? I guess what I should do is just start eating my Lean Cuisine's exclusively. Those are good, low fat/calorie. Then, if I'm still hungry a tomato. Those are really good, right? A tomato with some salt and Enova oil, or a bit of Olive Oil - which is healthy and good for you! Thing is - I can do it, if I really put my mind to it, but I'm lazy and it's much easier to not have to think about calories, fat, etc, etc.

Today I'm going to go to CSUN and try to fix the problem with my loan. I hope. It's the last thing I want to do, but I don't really have an option.

I need a new phone. Rather, our contract is expiring and it's time to get new phones. The problem with this (because when isn't there a problem?) is that I'd like to have my own contract, not be in the family plan, but they are so expensive that I don't think it's worth it. Why are texting plans so expensive, too? I need to go and flirt and get something good. Because this month? I went over by $20. Yea. $20 on texting in addition to what I already pay (although, really? I think they added the texts and have forgotten to charge me for them. Oops! Back when I was dating Daniel, his friend Eddie was friends with the manager of Verizon in Simi and he was able to get Daniel a good deal on a plan and on a phone (FREE!)... and yea, I'd like that. But we'll see.

I think my stance, right now? Forget the phone, forget the car. Just live. Don't add more stress to my shoulders.

Babies. Now that things are back to normal after the holidays, Jonathan comes over at 6am and my mom takes care of him. Today she brought him in sometime before 8 so I could take care of him while she and my dad made a call to Argentina. After he got bored in my bed doing nothing (while I tried to go back to sleep!) I took him down and put him in his exersaucer while I checked my reader (30+ posts, LOVE IT! NEED MORE!). After the parents were off the computer/Skype/phone mom made me hot chocolate, and - well, then I handed him back off to her. But of course I took over the putting him to sleep duties after he was fed, changed, and entertained for an hour. He whined in bed with my mom, then I rocked him (with a blanket covering his head, with enough room to breath and not suffucate - works wonders on getting him to sleep) to sleep. Laid down in bed (mom's) with him for a bit and then wrapped him up so he'd stay asleep. He slept for 45 minutes. Heard him crying and fed him some more milk and stuck the paci back in his mouth and rewrapped him (with a balnket, under his body tightly) so he'd stay asleep... hopefully. We'll see how long that lasts.

Jonathan, in general, is a great baby. He is just now, at 6 1/2 months, starting to whine and cry for attention. Before then it's been only when he was hungry, or tired, or just ansy. Compared to the girls, though, he's been a delight. I hope it stays this way.

That said? My mom annoys me. She volunteers to watch him, day in and day out, and then complains that we don't help her. Mom! I help you when I can, but woman? I didn't volunteer to watch him, to baby sit him everyday. What makes it worse right now? BSIL is unemployed and the entire time the boy is here? She's sitting at home. Yesterday? Mom suggested to BSIL that she take both kids home with her, and then we would pick Nikki up in a couple of hours. OH NO! NO WAY! She did not want to do that.

Whatever.

Kill DSL!

2009-01-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

I give up and call ATT/SBC/Yahoo - WHOEVER THEY ARE. (Oh, and? They have outsourced. Right now you're thinking: DUH! They are all in INDIA! - well yo uwould be WRONG! They are in the Phillipines. HA!)

Anyway, I call them, they tell me well let's update your modem. It seems to work. Not 5 minutes after being off the phone? Stops working.

During the call she tells me that I can run a "speed" test from Yahoo. Oh yea, that'll be accurate, right? So I do it, and according to THEM the speed is awesome! But as I tried to use an independent speed checker, guess what happened? IT WENT SO SLOW THAT I COULDN'T GET TO THE SITE! Yea. THAT slow.

My GReader? It's been loading for 5 minutes now. I take that back, not my GReader, but ONE POST in the GReader. One.

Tomorrow? Investigate FiOs! And since I'm sure that won't work because I don't think we are in their area.... then shall come the steps to going back to RoadRunner Cable. The cable, that sometimes gave us trouble - because, well, it's cable and when the TV cable line goes done, so did the Internet. But those times were few and far between (and short lasted).

Problem? It costs more than DSL. About $15-$25 more a month. This? This means that I will have to pitch in and help them (the Parentals) pay for it. I suppose this is better than paying $400 a month in rent. SO I'll offer them $20/month for the Internet. That sound decent? I hope so. As long as we get back to having the INTERNET THE ENTIRE TIME AND NOT JUST WHEN IT FEELS LIKE SHOWING UP!

(now let's see if this posts or not)

Spirling Down We Go

2009-01-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'm hungry.

Lindsey actually texted me back, telling me that going to dinner sounded fun! so I replied and asked if tonight worked... nope. How do I know it doesn't? She didn't reply. I'll take that as... normal.

I need, I think, to find more blogs of local people my age. Make friends. Or maybe now that I'm going back into school, into the masters program... I might make friends! Highly unlikely, but it's possible. Maybe.

I'm being down on myself right now. I'm starving, but I have to will to eat anything. Which, well, is good for the whole diet thing.

In other news - I got the APA Manual thing for my class. So now I only have one last book to get. The big expensive one. One I'm sure I'm not going to read or use very often, but that I have to get because that's the mature thing to do, I think. Tomorrow I have to go to CSUN and do a dance of getting my loan deferred until after I finish my masters. Even though my monthly payment is low ($79), it's best to not have that over my head when I don't have a stable income.

Which means - I can't really get a car now, either. Which sucks. Because I can just sense my car breaking down in the next couple of months, and boy, that won't be fun to fix or pay for. Maybe when it breaks I'll jump and buy the car then... and someone else (IE: BIL) can pay to get the car running again. We'll see.

I need to add things to my resolutions... but at the moment I can't remember what they were. Maybe be more organized, get smarter... by actually studying.

*update: Lindsey texted... she just got out of work... 8:36pm, but she's going home to poop out and AHH!*

On another note? Blogger's posting abilities? Suck. Does blogger have a download ap to be able to post from? Like LiveJournal has? Cause not only does posting pictures suck, but if I want to type in italics - it screws it up. I can do it, but then? getting it back from italic to regular type? Can't just click the button or ctrl i, I need to do it over and over, and combinations of both. So now I'm conflicted! I like the layout and stuff, but these little issues - SUCK!

Oh, and the Internet? Going slower than DSL today. It keeps disconnecting - but not disconnecting...if that makes any sense. It'll log me off AIM and Y!M, cut my e-mail download, then work again - all the while all the bars are highlighted. Very annoying. People? Never go with Yahoo! DSL. NEVER! I blame my brother for all of it. Because he was the one who convinced my mom to switch from RoadRunner cable to DSL. EVIL male he is, much like the rest of the male gender. As I've been typing this long, drawn out, boring, senseless post out? I've been disconnected, connected, and on and on and on for the entire time.

I'm glad new episodes of the shows I watch are coming back. Sunday - Desperate Housewives, today - 90210. Dunno about the rest... but since most sites are posting their shows online makes it easy to miss a show on TV.

And I could go on... about nothingness. But I will stop... for now.

On Friends

2009-01-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

I've never been one to have many friends, and that's been okay with me for the most part. I'm an alone type of person, and I spend a lot of time with my family. But. Nights like tonight? Nights in which I want to go out and each dinner just to go out and eat dinner and chat... and NO one is available.That sucks.

So I sit (lie down, really) in bed, surfing the Internet, bored, and.... hungry.

My Problem With Dating (and things)

2009-01-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

If a date doesn't go well? That's fine. I don't have to worry about them again, and I'm not in the "is he going to call me? did he have fun?" sort of mood. But if the date goes well? Oh hell. That's not good the next day.

I sit and I wonder these things. Why hasn't he called? Why hasn't he texted? Why? Why? WHY? THEN when I see him come online and he doesn't IM me? It's like twisting my heart! I know I do this to myself, and it's not the person's fault - because I'm just being stupid and ridiculous... but it's so annoying!

That said, I'm doing better today - I think. Keeping myself somewhat entertained.

Tomorrow? I start studying for the GRE. I must. There is no other option for me. I have to get started on that. Soon. I mean, tomorrow.
Tonight I'm off to the bookstore and gonna try to get one of the books that I need for school. That will leave me with one last book for over $100.

Trip Pictures - Last

2009-01-06T10:35:00.000-08:00

My mommy and me.

Nona with her three girls: Camila (3.11), Mika (6 1/2), Nikki (4)

Fall has arrived!!! In January.

The four girls at Candy Light Lane in Woodland Hills. They were looking at the house that times their lights to the music.

Mika and me, we were studying - using "Brain Quest"

The girls (Mika, Nikki, Camila) as they were putting little Disney toys in a line down the stairs. Mika counted, there were 199 of them.

Here they are playing with those same toys (Nikki, Mika, Camila)

Camila and Nikki outside of Coldstone's.

The girls (Mika, Nikki, Camila) at Toddler Time.

My girls!!!

Camila giving her Nona a big kiss!

Camila and Nikki deciding which fruit snack they wanted.

Camila is a wreath.

Isn't she gorgeous!?

Layoffs

2009-01-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

California. The state I was born in and the state I love. Unfortunately we've had a crappy governor for the past few years and the economy, along with that of the rest of the country - but especially here, has gone to shits.

For a young woman, such as myself, just out of college and wanting to start a career, or even a decent job, it's impossible. If people who have been at a job for years are being laid off, then they can't hire new employees.

I was VERY lucky to get "hired", rather, added to the substitute list for LAUSD. Something that is quite difficult in the economy. But because I knew people and they were kind, I was able to be hired. But jobs are still hard to find. I want a full time job. I need one. I'm 24. I need to move on with my life and not be at this stand still.

I figured that after a year of subbing I'd be able to get a full time teaching job. That looks quite unlikely now. Cuts for next years budget seems to be as big as last years, and more teachers are being laid off. the headline in our local newspaper today? L.A. Teachers on the Chopping Block.

That is so depressing. The article is even worse. Read it. It includes having to increase class sizes (in grades 1-3) from 20 per teacher, up to 37 (THIRTY-SEVEN) per teacher/class. It's a horrible condition to put kids into. They shouldn't be in such conditions. (Yes, I understand that in someplaces, things are a lot worse than here... I know!).

The increase in class size only means that there will be LESS classes which means there is LESS need for teachers.

I'm going to have to find a job elsewhere. Move on. Forget teaching. Something.

Date #1 - K

2009-01-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

It was nice. Good.

We met up earlier than planned, at about 6:30pm. He gave me a hug when he reached me and we went into to eat. We sat waiting for our table for a few minutes, talking about this and that. (We went to PF Changs).

They sat us at a booth and we kept talking about this and that until we ordered and the food came. At one point I am 99% sure I saw Miranda Cosgrove walk by to a table. I called Mika and told her. That got me into trouble as far as I now have to get her an autograph and make her believe I got it last night. Oh well.

Dinner was good - the food there is delicious! He ordered some spicy chicken dish which was a bit too spicy for me; I ordered the pork lo mein which was amazing. So smooth and soft. Ahem.

After dinner it was obvious that neither of us wanted to part ways yet, and it was still early. I showed him my craptastic car; since he also has a Miata, just a year older than mine. Fortunately for him, he has a new top for it.

Before hand, over the weekend, we had talked about going into his parents jacuzzi after dinner - since he is house sitting for them. Wellllll before I met up with him I was talking to my mom on the phone and realized I forgot my bathing suit on the dining room table at home and she had discovered it. Fuck. I was able to get out of that one, though.

He had to go to his parents anyway to feed their dog and cat, so I accompanied him. They have a BIG ASS dog and a tiny cat. He has a younger brother and sister who live at home, but are away with their parents as well. His mom is a pat rat, but for me it felt homey, although I can see why living there would be an issue. This was the same house he grew up in, as well.

As far as the car, he opened the door for me each time we got in the car. When we were in the house, waiting for the cat to finish eating, he pulled me toward him and we kissed. And it was nice. Maybe a bit awkward. He had really soft lips. It was nice. That went on for a while. I wasn't complaining.

After leaving and driving back to where my car was at the restaurant we chatted some more, nothing extrordinary there. But, as we were about to part I didn't know what to do. Do I kiss him goodnight? Or do I just leave? I wanted to play it cool... because so often I've scared people away from being too attached, too quickly. Instead I sort of opened the door, and he took his hand and cupped my chin, pulling my mouth to his, giving me a few kisses.

After we both got home, he IMed me and told me that he had a really good time with me.

So did I.

I really hope it works out. Or we go out again. Or both.

Active, Sort Of

2009-01-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

I kept my promise - and I went out for a long walk with my mom this morning! It was awesome. We spent time together, and we got exercise.

I also went to the hair salon and got all the evil split ends cut off. Seriously, I should have taken a picture - cause it was horrible. 12 months since my last cut. So now I feel refreshed, or at least my hair does.

Then in an hour or so it'll be time to go out with K.

BUT I'm feeling sort of icky. I'm not sure if it's from not eating well (I had a tomato and a noodle cup today), or if I'm getting sick, but I don't feel 100%. Looking back on the last month and a half - I can't wait to feel better. Have a good day.

Oh. I also got a paper cut on a package of oatmeal - that I did not eat (but I will tomorrow to get back at it!).

Before Getting Back

2009-01-05T16:37:00.001-08:00

Before I get back to posting pictures about this trip, I wanted to post pictures of something gorgeous. ME! Well, me when I was little, anyway.

(I have to add here that posting pictures links here is totally annoying when it comes to resizing; in that WP is much better)

My family is from Argentina and eating BEEF is a big part of our diet. Growing up, and into my 20s, we would have an "asado" every Saturday night.

Here I am with my dad (when he had a beard, mom got him to shave it off). Of course I read the paper every single time we had our "asado".

But come on - look at the meat!! Doesn't it look amazing?

Here I am on top of my brother, who is on top of my mom. We could not do this anymore, unless we wanted to break my mom's legs.

My mommy and me! Do we look a like?

Can you tell that mom and I are close? I ADORE this picture of us.

This is a classic picture of me. Someone (dunno who) was trying to take my picture, but I didn't want them to. So I hid. They won, obviously. But look what an awesome picture.

I liked being naked, I think. This was my sisters bathroom.

That's it for now, because man - posting pictures in Blogger SUCKS.

Weight, Shape Getting

2009-01-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

My problem with loosing weight? Motivating myself to do so. I want to be lighter; I need to be lighter in order to be healthier.

I've been following Sarah's blog The Best Days of My Life for just over a month, and recently found her posts regarding her weight loss story. You can go and read about it here. Her determination at loosing weight, and her method - making herself accountable through her blog, had me thinking. Now, she has more readers than I, and maybe because of that had more reason to be accountable for her goal, but it got me thinking about my own struggles with weight loss.

I was a very skinny little girl. My mom used to "play" the guitar on my ribs type of skinny. I think that because of that I was never really denied ice cream, candy, and other sweets. Unfortunately my metabolism slowed down, and I gained weight.

It didn't come on rapidly, instead slowly, over the years I began to gain weight. I remember, when I was 13 or 14 that I had just surpassed the 100lb mark and I so badly wanted to back to the 90's. That's the one and only time that I remember, as a teenager, wanting to loose weight, or feeling bad about how much I weighed. Throughout high school I never really "worried" about my weight. I knew I was heavier than the "skinny" girls, but I had curves. I had breasts. REAL ones, which at the time were just 32/34 B's.

By the end of High School I had gained weight - and reached 143.

Have I mentioned that I am 5'1-2 on a good day?

Right after high school I began to diet. I only ate TV dinners that were low calorie/fat (Budge Gourmet) and I began working. I lost 14 lbs (athough I don't know how long it took). I was down to 129! Wow! In the following months, years - I got as low as 127.

I now weigh, from my last doctor's appointment, 165lbs.

Estimating, I have gained just under 40 lbs in 4 years. I can't divide it up that way, though. I know that the majority of that weight, half of it actually, was gained in 2008, maybe reaching back to Christmas 2007.

When I left for Argentina a year ago (January 2007) I KNEW that I'd gain weight. It's too hard not to, when in Argentina. The food is really inexpensive, the beef is really fatty, the sweets are delicious, and they have authentic Dulce de Leche Ice Cream. What I didn't count on was gaining even more after coming back, and not loosing any of it. The previous time I had gone to Argentina in the summer of 2005 - I didn't gain any weight - by a miracle of some kind, AND when I got back I went on a very restricted (1200 calorie) diet with my mom and lost over 10lbs.

Part of it, I think, has been me being the opposite of worried about my weight. I have put it into my head that "I'm fine, I'm not too fat, I'm curvy, I'm what a woman is supposed to look lke". But I know, deep inside, that it isn't true; at least not all of it. Although I am not obese and I can still shop in "juniors" or "ladies" or "petites" without a problem, I should loose weight in order to feel more confident in myself and also to be healthier.

That's the easy part - thinking and knowing that I need to loose weight and be in better shape. Next comes the hard part. Doing it.

I think most people who read or stumble upong this post have gone through this. How do I loose these love handles, the double chin? I have to start somewhere.

Tomorrow is the first Monday of 2009. With its arrival, I will start holding myself accountable, and I will get myself in better shape. Who knows? My lack of shapeness might be the cause of some of my physical troubles. I won't know until I try.

In order to be accountable, and to get back into some sort of decent shape (I won't put a number on it - for now), I will keep my stats updated in the frame over to the right.

Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself and place the information there.

Wish me luck!

I start like this:

Feeling Lame

2009-01-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted about going on a date with K. Although the date has yet to occur (it will tomorrow) I did have a conversation with him (lasted nearly an hour).

The fact that he did not hang up on me, or make an excuse to leave, should tell me that I didn't make that big of ass or idiot or bitch or whatever other adjective that can be used to describe me. Still? I feel like a dork. I feel like a blabbered on about nothing, that I made myself look like a fat, lazy, unmotivated, undate-able person.

Which? I am. I tried the gym for about 1.2 seconds, and gave up. I tried going out for walks/jogs, that lasted about .001 seconds. I tried rollerblading... I don't think there is an amount of time to describe that. The only thing I seem to LIKE the best is hiking - but I hate doing it alone, and really? I don't think it should be done alone (but that might be me trying to avoid it to begin with). The most exercise that I have done consistently has been going for walks with my mom - but they tend to be short (1/4 mile) and slow. THOSE need to start improving.

Hopefully that will start tomorrow. There is another week of vacation from "work" and CSUN doesn't start for another couple of weeks. Therefore I must take advantage of free daylight to do something to get in shape. And so this post turns into a "loose weight" resolution post.

Right now I'm the heaviest I've ever been. But that will be a post on to itself. I will jump onto the bandwagon that loosing weight is among several of the blogs that are in my reader.

Now, maybe the "resolution" is less about loosing weight and more about being motivated for myself and not because of others. Having self-motivation. I need to find that in myself.

Then, maybe, I won't feel like an idiot after talking with K.

He did say "bye sweetie" - before hanging up.

On Boys, ahem, Men

2009-01-03T20:56:00.000-08:00

I went on my first date at the age of 21. Since then I've been on many. Too many to count. I've made mistakes (some bigger than others, IE: getting HPV), and I've had good times. I've been hurt and disappointed, and I've been close to falling in love.

With the New Year I plan on having a better time in dating. Trying to not go out with jerks, and spend more time finding good ones. And keeping the good ones.

I'm going to do some "chronicling" of my dates on this blog in order to be able to remember what they were like, mostly because after the fact - memories fade, feelings seem to become off, and I can never be sure what the date was truly like.

A good example as to why this is important... at least to me, when I have so many dates, is that once upon a time I went on a date with a guy, and made out with him... and then for one reason or another I stopped going talking to him. Then we talked again. And I HAD NO RECOLLECTION OF THE DATE. Quite embarassing (although I'm still talking to him, or rather, he's still talking ot ME!).

I have a date either tomorrow or Monday night with K. I will make a self-contained post about that, after the fact (probably).

Sciatica?

2009-01-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

As I've posted millions of times, I have some pretty nasty upper back pain every once in a while. Well... the past few days I've had a terrible pain in my waist. It's in a specific location, on my left side. It always seems to be "there", but standing up, or walking fast, or laughing, or bending over, or... well, that would be too much TMI, but when I do those things - I'm in even MORE pain. Pain that is so sharp that it just about throws me to the ground.

My mom and I were walking back from my car and she said something that made me laugh, and that just did it - I almost fell down, my left leg went weak, and if I hadn't been holding on to my mom, I would have fallen.

I'm not sure what exactly the pain is, but it seems similar to sciatica, which several people in my family have experienced. I've used Dr. Google, but I wasn't too successful in really confirming if that's it or not. I also haven't been successful in taking some Tylenol to ease the pain.

Of course, it might also just be some temporary pain from sleeping with the girls - BUT I've actually slept better than in past trips.

If it goes on for several more days I'll see about going to the Urgent Care, but for now I'll try to deal with it.

Tired

2009-01-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired. Run down. But I don't know why. I'm 24, I eat decently, why do I so often feel like crud? I don't understand. Maybe I should start taking vitamins. I should do something. But I'm too tired to do anything.

I must go on, though. I must start school in a couple of weeks. I must try and get more work when the school year begins.

I must feel up to doing that. To going on dates, even.

But I feel like doing very little.

The last few days I've had a pretty bad pain in my waist. Bad as in I could barely sit or stand without being in excruciating pain and falling over. It might be from sleeping with the girls, from switching beds, or it might be something else. I don't know.

Week after next I have a million doctor/dentist appointments which I'm not looking forward to.

Can I fastforward through January?

Noah's Ark and the 405

2009-01-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

The Noah's Ark exhibit was decent, but not as amazing as I expected it to be. The light sucked in there and I wasn't able to get too many good pictures. When I upload them, I'll post and let you see. They did have a music show, in which Mika was able to stand up and lead for a couple of minutes. They also had an arts and crafts area in which the girls (okay, Mika and the adults) were able to create animals from recycled materials. That was much more fun (in my opinion).

The way home brought much more excitement. I was driving north on the 405 freeway (one of the major LA freeways) and it was about 5:15pm or so. I was approaching the 118, which is the freeway closest to my house. Traffic began to get heavier, especially as the lanes to the 118 merge became available. I got close to the lanes, but stayed in one to the left so that I could fast forward through the traffic in the other lanes.WELLLLL one of the cars in the lane to my right decided it was a good idea to merge. To MERGE INTO ME! Yea. I swerved to the left, and luckily there was no car there for me to hit.

It begs the question, what are you supposed to do in such a situation? I swerved, but I could have easily swerved into another car and caused a bigger accident. Should I have hit the brakes? But wouldn't I have been more likely to get hit from behind and also cause an accident (although if I had done that, and someone hit me, then it wouldn't have been considered my fault, but that of the person who almost hit me). My instict, though, was swerve. We were lucky.

C Update

2009-01-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

I got a call from C and the mediation went well. He was able to tape his baby's mom, admitting she had lied and that he had not, in fact, beat her up - ever. Without her even knowing this he was able to get some sort of custody/visitation or something of the sort. Bottom line? He gets to see his son several times a week for 2 hours at a time. Then in March (I think) when they go back to court, he can show up with the audio tape (which was taped legally) and try to get full custody with it (which he should, since they only took away his custody because of her claim of physical abuse, which is now mute with the audio).

Awesome!

Regarding Dates

2009-01-02T11:24:00.001-08:00

I made the "resolution" to find a mate this year, and I hope it comes true.

Cause now? I feel quite lonely.

Women's Power

2009-01-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

I am a woman, and therefore I like women having power, but not when that power comes while lying and playing that "woe is me, I'm a small little woman" card.

Back in my WP blog I mentioned C. C and I met online (Craigslist) 3 years ago. We never got around to going out on a date, but every few months we'd re-connect with each other. Come November/December 2007 and we are really talking... then he drops off and disappears. THEN comes January and I get an e-mail from him telling me that he got someone pregnant and well, is marrying her and doing the "right" thing. We stopped talking at that point. Then last summer we started talking again. Then, because of some circumstances, we stopped again.

Then after I posted on CL again he contacted me (back in November). At that point he started telling me how he was getting divorced, and that his wife had been feeding medicine to his son for seizures. At some point he realized that he had never seen his son have seizures, and no one else had either. A lot of drama continued. He had to prove that there were no seizures, and plan for divorce, etc. She was causing him a lot of problems - didn't want to grant divorce, etc.

I'm not going to post all that happened (because I'm not clear on the timeline), but it looked good for a while. She took his son (and his step daughter) to Boston without permission, and he went to a lawyer and off to court they went. They granted him full custody and put out an amber alert. She came back, tail between her legs. But at that point didn't know about the custody arrangement the judge had set. She then took him to court on Christmas EVE and claimed to a different judge that he beat her up. The judge decided that she was telling the truth and gave her full custody with NO visitation for him.

So now he's taken a polygraph, but her laywers are fighting it. He has a mediation today in which he needs to try and get her to admit that he lied, so that he can get custody back. He has court on the 6th.

Anyway, so pleae keep him in your thoughts that the judge sees through her lies.

The Day In Review

2009-01-01T19:29:00.000-08:00

The day was a success!! Sort of.

I promised the girls that I'd take them to see a movie (The Tale of Despereux), and since we didn't have big plans for today, I figured it'd be the best. We got there just as the movie was starting (after buying popcorn). As soon as we sat down and got settled I noticed that the sound was horrible! It was staticy to begin with, but once the talking began? You couldn't understand what they were saying. I went out to complain. Later another person when and when he cam eback he announced that they couldn't fix the problem, but they'd give us our money back. I decided that that was the best option. We left and I went to get the money back, but I was also going to ask for the money back from the popcorn we bought - BUT the nice manager instead gave me my money back ($32) and got 4 FREE movie passes.

Camila threw a tantrum as we left the theatre, and while the other two wanted to go to the park, I ended up taking Camila home and the other two girls to play. Camila, I heard, didn't calm down (and she was crying incredibly loud) for a while. The other two played in the park for a good 30 minutes and had a lot of fun. They ran, they did monkey-bars, they laughed, they SWANG for a while with lots of laughter. I took pictures and video and will post.

After the park the girls bathed and we left to the mall. I got them all Jamba Juice, did some browsing at some stores. I got a new nightgown (thermal) from Kohl's ($8) and then we went to Target. Target usually has awesome post-Christmas sales. They start at 50% off and then go up to 75% and top off at 90% off. By the time the latter comes around there are few things left, but we can always find something to get for the next year. This year, though? A week after Christmas everything is almost gone and the sale has only gone up to 75%! We were able to get (15) cake boxes, and 4 topping tubs. The cost? $0.39 each. The girls each got something cheap, and I got a 24 days of Christmas wooden decoration for $7.50.

During the trip (mostly at Kohls) I was feeling really crappy, run down. I needed to sit down and rest. By the time we made it to Target (and 2 tylenol's later) I felt a lot better. It worries me, though, that I get so run down with no real reason for it.

Tomorrow we're heading to Noah's Ark with the kids, so that should be fun. Pictures are allowed and I will take many (did I mention that I filled my 1G card?). Until then, have a good night!

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-01T10:09:00.001-08:00

This is my first post on Blogger, but not my first ever. I have been blogging for just over 6 years now. I began with Live Journal back in November 2002, between then and August 2008 I stayed on Live Journal with a couple of side trips to Moveable Type and a personal URL through my sisters server. Starting Summer 2008 Live Journal began making changes and began planning on either charging everyone for their services, or displaying advertisement on all their blogs. I did not want that and went searching for other options. I settled upon WordPress. I spent 5 months with WordPress, and I liked it - BUT (and there is always a 'but') in order to give it a nice layout I'd have to pay for the privelege. After recommendations from Diary of a Modern Matriarch, I decided to make the jump to Blogger.

As I'm juste beginning to play around with Blogger, I hope I will make it as nice as possible in the coming days, and weeks - as I learn more, as I have more time for it.

For any new readers (and I am sure there are... none), I post often, usually at LEAST once a day, many times more. My blog is my PERSONAL blog as in: I don't write it for other people, I write it for myself - so if it's boring, or not "creative" enough, oh well. It's me getting my thoughts down. Don't like it, move on. (But if you decide to stay, AWESOMEness!)

I talk a lot about my family on here, as well as my (lack of) friends, dating, and my everyday life. I also tend to post a bit of pictures.

Later on today, new posts!