Growing Pains?

You know that "pain" that you'd feel in your legs when you were growing up. As though you were stretching. Or, at least, my mom told me that the pain in my legs was from growing. Now I'm not so sure. I'm 24, been on my period for half my life. I am NOT growing any taller than what I've been for the past decade.

So why does my left leg hurt so damn much? It's a dull ache. Sort of as though it is being smooshed between two hard objects. It's not the first time I've felt it as an adult.

Add that to the pain in my hips and my back? I'm just a shell of a thing.

My hip hurts more as the day goes on and the longer I sit still. I noticed it today when I was in my 4pm class. It was uncomfortable to be in my seat. Then my back became uncomfortable, too. The need to stretch it, but the inability to. I've been taking 1 entire pill for a few days, but I'm not sure if it's been 5 days yet, or not. So I'll take 1 pill tonight, and then tomorrow I'll move it up to 1 1/2. I have a follow up appointment at the end of the month.

With all these complaints I have, I come home and spend some time with Nikki. She attaches herself to me whenever I get home. She was happy to see me today since on Monday's she usually doesn't, and we didn't spend much time together yesterday either. I ignore the computer and the TV. I change into my PJ's (cause if I'm at home, that's what I sport), make her laugh as I throw my clothes on her, I tickle her. I take her downstairs and cuddle up on the couch to watch some cartoons and wait for her dad to pick her up. Although I enjoy the time with her, I'm waiting for her dad to come. I want her to go because it's nearing 8pm and that means House will be on. It's not. But she goes anyway (which she must, she has school in the morning). I finally settle in to check e-mail and look through my GReader.

I read two sad posts. One about a little girl, not even a year, who died from cancer. The other, a soon-to-be mom who left the hospital without her baby; he was strangled by the umbilical cord.

I read that and I feel so thankful for the time I've been able to spend with my nieces and nephew. I feel sad for being selfish and not spending more time with them, instead pushing them away so I can do my own things.

I complain about my own physical pains and I feel crappy, because what significance does it have compared to what these families are going through? We've had our share of scares: Camila has Kawasaki Disease (which has been made popular by the Travolta death), Nikki had to be admitted to the ER for IV fluids when she was 2; both Mika and Camila have hearing problems that haven't been taken care of (which means my siblings haven't gotten around to it, sadly). We've been lucky. SO very lucky. Look at TEO. She was given 10 hours to live when she was 9 months old, and repeatedly after that the doctor's assured my mom that she has 0% chance of surviving. She was even dead for a while. But 37 years later, she's still kicking: 3 transplants, 2 hip replacement, a staph infection, and a million other little things later. Amazing.

I will hold Nikki and Jonathan a bit more closely. I will call Camila and Mika more often, and I'll try to not rush them off the phone as fast. I will appreciate my family's luck a bit more.